hey

This week's been a pretty tough one. I hate complaining, but in all honesty it really has been, and that's what is going on in my life. All of my classes decided to team up and assign papers, tests, and projects, this week. Thankfully, I gave two presentations today and turned in two essays so a HUGE weight has been lifted. Thank you Jesus. Even though I have been stressed, I have seen God's hand in my life immensely within this past week. The times when I though I would not be able to finish, He gave me will power and energy, or he gave me rest, and allowed me time to finish my assignments later on. I'm dragging right now after getting little sleep last night and developing this cold (yuck!), but I know that God has gone above and beyond providing for me this week especially, and in exchange, I can definitely deal with some sniffles!

I get to rest now! I just finished doing my second presentation a few minutes ago, and now I'm sitting in Heritage Cafe, eating a wrap and my second orange juice for today (got to get that vitamin C for my immune system!). Most importantly, I'm relaxing. I plan on actually sleeping in a bit, once i get back to my dorm, but for now, I'm just reflecting on these past few days that have seemed like a whirlwind.

It seems so long ago that I had my alpha interview, but it was actually just the day before last, and guess what? I think it went well! I got lucky with some of the sweetest interviewers and I wasn't uncomfortable at all. My alpha leader, Rach, met me beforehand to pray with me, which really helped. I went in to the interview thinking that if God didn't want for me to get the position, I wouldn't, and that would be okay. I still don't know whether I got the position or not, but I hope that I can maintain this mindset no matter what the outcome is.

Something else new is I started a ballet class :) I missed it so much and I love it. I've only been to one class so far but I can't wait to go to more! Tomorrow will be my second to last time dancing at an APU basketball game. No team for me next year. The girls are sweet and all, but the games aren't really that enjoyable. I want to explore my options and do other things....like maybe study abroad!

I would love to study abroad second semester of next year, but it all depends on what kind I want to do because some of them require that I be at least a junior. I just recently decided....(and I hope for sure, this time)...that I will be a global studies minor and do a global learning term! In global learning term, you go to a foreign country, all by yourself, live with a host family (that you have to figure out and set up completely on your own), and complete an internship (which, once again, you have to find for yourself). It always sounded so intimidating to me, and it still does, but also interesting and an adventure! I think this is what I want to do, but I change my mind about what I want to study by the day.

This week has been tough, but there have definitely been some enjoyable moments. I got to see God really stepping in to help me in such obvious ways, which is nice every once in a while, because other times, I search for Him but have a hard time. It's reassuring, in a sense. I also realized how surrounded I am by loving friends. My family is completely amazing and I love them with every ounce in me. I miss them when I get busy like this and can't take the time to talk to them. But, thery are not here at college with me, and while here, I have my amazing friends. I cant thank Kristen and Maddie enough for being so supportive and considerate of me while I've been busy with all my homework. Yay for future roomies next year!

I'm writing way too much, so I'll stop here for now. I'm looking forward to my day of rest now - oh, and the chemistry presentation and philosophy exam I have tomorrow haha - oh well :)

Have a nice afternoon.

i like this...

to start

"I never quite understand what i think until i write it down..."

I remember writing about this quote on my first day of AP English. I cant remember who said it or if i have the wording exactly right, but either way, the concept resonated with me then and has never left me. Writing helps me make sense of things. In the end, I always have a clearer view of what I feel and what I think. The concept of personal blogs always puzzled me. Why would anybody document their day to day life for others to read? Who would actually care to read about what I think or do? Well after being inspired by some other blogs I've read recently, I decided to finally start my own. I don't mind if others do not read it, but i will write because it's what i enjoy. And, also, so that one day years from now, I'll be able to look back and see how I've grown up, the lessons I've learned, and how I've seen God move in my life. God works immensely in my life on a regular basis, and yet i fear that i allow his constant faithfulness to go unacknowledged. 

What an awesome time to start a blog. These past few days have been absolutely beautiful. Azusa's finally been blessed with a bit of rain, and i love it! It's my favorite weather ever. Friday, I absolutely couldn't resist, and i went for a bike ride in the rain. It was great! I came in to my dorm drenched and with clothes a much darker shade than they had been when i left for chapel that morning. But, i was happy as could be. All of this rain lately got me thinking about a song we sing in church called "happy day." Its one of my favorite songs, and there's a line in it that says "oh happy day, happy day, you've washed my sins away." I love looking at the rain and how it just makes everything look clean, bright, and new! The ugly sidewalks aren't so ugly anymore...the bushes and trees all glisten and suddenly appear so much greener. How comforting is it to know that God is completely willing to do this for us?! No matter how much i mess up (which i do, a lot, with no logical excuses why), God forgives me and completely washes my sins away. I'm made clean and new. This is a concept i grappled with for a while. For a long time i walked around carrying guilt, which is a terrible feeling. As I've grown up and learned more from listening to people and reading, I've been able to get a better understanding of what this means and what it looks like if i accept God's grace in my own life. I know now that God loves me regardless, and i love him. Because i love him, i want to please him. For the times i don't, i know God is my most reliable, merciful, friend, who will wash my sins away when i ask.