umm...

Super good day.

It's one of those days that's so great that you'd rather just keep the details to yourself instead of telling someone else, only for the details to come out sounding trivial or meaningless. No, I'll keep today to myself :) But, I will say this. God always has a plan, through and through. I like the times in my life most when I let go of the reigns and let The Big Man take over. It's always a smarter decision on my part. Too bad I'm not always smart enough to do so.

On a different note: Something I've come to realize is that I value personal relationships and people more than academics. I try hard all throughout the year, which in turn results in good grades, but, more often than not, if I have the option of spending an extra hour studying something that i've already spent time on or spending an hour of time with a close friend, I'll choose friend. This probably doesn't sound like much of a revolation - 19 year old girl picks hanging out with friends instead of studying. That's not it at all. I just like a balance. I've just decided not to kill myself to get immaculate grades and neglect all the awesome people around me that I'm blessed to be doing life with. I don't want to look back on college and think "Well, I ended up with an A- in that class instead of a B+ but i didn't have much of a college experience." I know that my school is expensive, and it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to throw away the type of education i'm recieving by slacking off and not trying. Trust me though, I would NOT be able to live with myself if I did. It's not in my nature. I can barely handle getting B's. But that's what I'm letting go of. That perfection. I'm okay with a B every once in a while because I'm learning just as much from the people outside of the classroom, as I am from the textbooks and lectures inside. That's all :)

For the record...

all of a sudden I enjoy going to bed at a reasonable hour. Sometimes 1/1:30...other times even 11/11:30! I guess that's a good change. My body will thank me many years from now.

An update

Likes
-late night chats on the futon with shelby and/or kristen
-the swap meet
-kristen's APU sweatshirt that I'm borrowing
-a new-ish crush (just for fun)
-getting dressed up
-"Home" by Phil Wickham
-my comfy TOMS
-6 1/2 hours of sleep at night
-vanilla tea

Dislikes
-the bump on my lip piercing
-laundry and no quarters
-chemistry
-philosophy
-too late nights

compliments

It's funny how much a compliment can lift your spirits.

For some reason I always remember my favorite compliment. It wasn't about my personality, so maybe that makes it kind of superficial, but I didn't really take it that way. Once, I had someone tell me I had an "electric smile." I loved that compliment because it was genuine, and because I liked what it represented. I love to smile at people, and it's great when they smile back. I like being able to give a small bit of joy to someone else, especially if I don't know them. Plus, electric is such a great adjective! It has so much pizzazz behind it! and energy! I'm an English nerd, and I like diction very much.

Tonight I got a different compliment. It was simple, but it still put a smile on my face. I was told that I looked "lovely." I feel like lovely is such a better word than any of the ones I usually hear boys use. It was true that I had put effort into how I looked that evening, and I found it so sweet of this person to recognize that, and pay me a kind compliment.

That's it. I hope you remember to smile and pay a nice compliment to others as much as you can, whether it be to people you don't know at all, or people whom you truly care about. Either way, it's worth that miniscule amount of energy to make someone feel nice for a minute :)

2:23 am

So it 2:23 am, which means technically its the 23rd, but we'll pretend it's the 22nd and i'm sharing with you, on the day of, that I got a mod! We're super stoked. We were hoping for some other ones, but i know that we were placed here for a reason, and I am beyond excited. Also, I picked classes for the semester. I had planned on taking 16 units but looks like it's going to be 13, considering I only got three of the six classes I had originally intended on signing up for. Honestly, it's probably a blessing. I know i will be busy with alpha and a job next semester, so maybe this is God's way of not having me overwhelm myself. I'm happy about that :) I love knowing that God always has the bigger picture in mind. Sweet.

Ever feel invisible?

I'm sure you have at some point. I think it's something most people struggle with every once in a while, if not more often. I know this much to be true (and it was confirmed, once again tonight)--I don't like being in large groups because I feel invisible. I'm not the loudest, I'm not the funniest, and I don't have the most acquaintances. So, these situations are always just awkward and all of sudden give me low self esteem, when just minutes before I was feeling confident and happy. I found it so weird that I had such a great day today with four true friends, spending hours together, walking around campus, talking, laughing, and listening to music, but the second a got around a group of people who meant nothing to me, I felt unhappy. I cherish my close friends so much. But, then I get around people who are outside of my group of friends, and, all of a sudden, I feel like I'm not enough. The others in the group don't say anything to make me feel this way, and they don't have to. Maybe that's the problem? It's when I get around these groups, that I start to think, "Why don't I have as many friends as so-and-so?" "How is it that there are so many people around, but I'm hardly talking to anyone?" Honestly I usually know the answers to my questions. It takes work to keep us social acquaintances and relationships. I've had friends who spend hours a day on facebook, trying to write on a hundred different people's walls, so they can have a hundred different friends, and have built a hundred different relationships out of thin air. I can't do this. It's absolutely not my personality. It has to be real. And, most times, I'm ok with that. Actually, I like that. I like my close relationships and i like knowing that there is a small group of friends who truly care for me and I them. I'm human though, and some days, the pressures of being a 19-year-old girl get to me. Tonight was one of those times.

Some good stuff :)

Today has been fabulous. I woke up with plenty of time to shower, do my hair, put on some make-up, and get dressed. Lack of stress in the morning is always a nice thing and kind of a rarity for me (considering I tend to oversleep...oops!). So, I left in a good mood, happy and ready for class. But, once I got there, I found out class was cancelled! Sweet! I wasn't going to complain. 

I was already on west campus and now had a whole 1hr and 40 minutes until my next class. I chose to not go back to my dorm, but instead made my way to Heritage court to have a good breakfast. Best cranberry muffin ever! I sat, ate, drank, listened to my ipod and just relaxed there for a while. I really wanted to go outside, so after sufficient time in Heritage, I went and sat outside, listened to some more music, soaked up the sun, and people watched (definitely one of my favorite activities). People are just so funny. Then I spent some time in the computer lab cruising the internet and looking for t-shirts online for Taylor and I to use for The Rescue. It's this saturday and I'm incredibly excited for it. I'll talk about that more about it in a future post. I eventually went to my philosophy class after a bit more time relaxing outside. I finally have learned to like my philosophy class. I could not stand the class beforehand: the prof, the material, the teaching method. I don't know if I've changed or my prof has. Either way, I enjoy it, and am on good terms with the teacher. Thanks God :) 

Done with classes for the day now (just had that one philosophy class) and am back in my dorm. I'm kind of excited because I got a super good deal on a bathing suit I've liked for a while...40% off today and tomorrow only! So, I just made probably my second online purchase ever. I never shop online. I love a good deal though! Now I'm waiting, anxious for 6:00 when Danica gets out of class, so we can look for flights to Chicago! We're buying our tickets today to go see Maddie! I can NOT wait to see the city. It'll be a first!

Reasons why I'm excited today:

1. Cancelled chemistry class

2. Steamy 90 degree weather :)

3. 40% off bathing suit

4. Buying a flight ticket to Chicago today!

5. Registering for my class schedule tomorrow!

6. Picking housing tomorrow!!!

That's right! the day is HERE. Finally going to pick out our mod tomorrow (at least we hope it's a mod). I'll post later how we end up doing in the housing department. Wish us luck!

it's been a while

Gosh it's been a long time since I last blogged. And I was completely aware of it - it felt weird! Anyway, WiFi is a bit of a predicament at my house so I wasn't really online much over spring break. Highs and Lows of break: Highs - spending amazing quality time with the best family in America (mine!), interviewing the communications coordinator for Invisible Children (amazing), going on a 15 mile bike ride (round trip with some shopping in between), falling in love with san diego (i'm moving there after I graduate! or at least I would like to). Lows - Jon's passing was probably the only thing that makes it onto the Lows list. That was tough, but I can't help but feel happy for him now. He was an incredibly amazing beautiful person who knew Christ and is now dancing in Heaven with his Lord and Savior! Sweetness.

Just finished my first week back at school from spring break. What I'm realizing is that I'm not very burnt out on academics yet. I don't feel overwhelmed by the amount of things I have to complete for my classes before the end of the year. Perhaps I should? What I feel like I'm somewhat ready for a break from is consistency. Most days, I go to class at the same time, I eat lunch with the same people, I do some homework, I see the same girls on my hall, I go eat dinner at the same cafeteria, etc. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore my school, but I'm really looking forward to the freedom of summer. The opportunity to go on adventures and to explore! There are so many things I want to pick up and do. If all goes as planned, I'm going to chicago this summer to see maddie which i'm STOKED about. Also, Kristen and I are hoping to do a road trip to Colorado to visit her sister and molly. We're doing a couple days in san diego to go see Anberlin and spend some time with kristen's while we're there! I would love to go up to san francisco, especially because of everything taylor was telling me about it. It'd be great to go see the city and visit her while there. And then I hopefully am going to Seattle with my Papa for one of his work trips! He'll do a few meetings and then we can explore the city. Ahhh there's so much I want to do and so many places I want to explore! Oh ya....and maybe get a summer job? and...summer school? duh duh dun. We'll see what i fit in these next three months. I'll keep you posted!

Ugh. I don't even know what to call this.

Am I supposed to be joyous or saddened? Thankful or mournful? How do you respond to the news that a friend of yours has gone to join Jesus and many others in Heaven? It started off in shock, disbelief, and confusion. Then, I felt more panicked. How could this really have happened? And so suddenly? Later on, I felt compelled to be happy for him. He was with JESUS. The ultimate goal. But today...was the worst reaction yet. I finally broke down and cried. Jon Saligumba was one of those people you wished you knew even more. He made you smile, laugh, and just be filled with LOVE! He was filled with love...Christ's love. And that is why i sometimes feel happy for him because I know that he is in heaven :) But, there is no way i can forget the way he affected all of those around him on earth. The handful of memories I have with him are ingrained in my mind, and they'll always be cherished. That's the tricky part - We weren't best friends, but we were friends. He is not someone I talked to on a regular basis, only those sparatic lucky times, so why would I care or notice, right? wrong. I do care. I care for his family. I care for his friends. I care for my friends, who are are going through such a tough time with losing him. And lastly, I care about those fun times I had with him that I'll never have in the future. I'll never get to be scolded by the English sub for dancing and singing "Big Pimpin" too loudly with him. I'll never get to roam the streets the of Paris with him, while listening to the same rockin tunes that I did, after Jon so generously lent me his Ipod. I'll never get to see his infectious smile again, aside from pictures. Or cheer him on as he impressed the whole school with his amazing dance moves in the class comp routines. But, If I care for one more person, aside from his family, his friends, my friends, myself, I'll care for Jon. And in doing so, I'll be happy for him as best I can...because he is in Paradise.

spring break!

spring break spring break spring break spring BREAK!!! yay.
ugh Chemistry and Philosophy tests left my brain fried.
I'd imagine my 5 am bed time last night may have had something to with it as well...
BUT now it's break! and I slept for four hours after my tests (horrible, I know!)
my day was absolutely beautiful after 12 noon today. I was in such a good mood because I finished my tests. Kristen and I sat outside and ate lunch on Cougar Walk. Then we walked to UP to look at apartments maybe for next year (eek! :)) Meagan let us snoop around her adorable apartment, which was fun. Then we walked all the way back, and it was just so lovely outside! Not to mention, I have an amazing roomie. Kristen is just so awesome the way she listens to my constant talking, laughs at me so I think I'm funny....even when I'm not haha, and she even celebrates with me when I finish two ridiculous tests! She's grand.
SO happy to be on break for the time being, even though I adore going to APU everyday!
I'm blessed beyond belief.