It's Valentine's Day. And I can't pretend that it's my favorite day of the 365. Every year, I see singles posting really triumphant empowering posts, celebrating their singlehood on this day. While they're meant to be encouraging, I think only about 50% of them are genuine. The other 50% are probably more in line with what I truly feel, which is that this is a very lonely and isolating holiday.
You see, I feel good about myself, my accomplishments, and my singlehood about 300 days out of the year. However, there is a definitely a few of those days, Valentine's included, where I feel really shitty about the way circumstances are.
Already a couple times today, I've read "uplifting" posts from well-meaning people, telling me that one day I will find my person. One day, the desires of my heart will be met and I will have a family of my own. But what if it isn't true? Who is to say that life will work out the way I want it to? I don't actually believe this.
Because life doesn't always happen the way you want it to. Sometimes we are met with hard things and have to face those fears. The fear that I will never have kids of my own, that I will often feel uncomfortable at plus one events, that I will never get to split expensive San Diego rent, and that ultimately I will go through life without someone choosing me as their forever.
I'm thankful today for my perfect job, my perfect friends, my perfect family, and this perfect city I live in. 300 days out of the year this all makes me really happy. But sometimes it feels like not enough. And there's a chance that it will always have to be.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Six Years Later....
25 is weird. Really, bizarre. Not quite sure if I’m supposed
to be settled, not quite sure if I’m supposed to be living some vagabond,
adventurous lifestyle of exploration. Every buzzfeed article I read tells me I
should veer toward the latter. “17 reasons to quit your job and travel” “25
ways to know you’re not ready to settle down!” Click bait. Click bait. Click
bait.
25 is an exciting time. As I go to sleep right now, I await
the arrival of a special little girl who is in the process of being born. My
best friend is anxiously anticipating the birth of her first niece, and I am
thrilled. We’ve already scoured the racks of Target together, in search of the
cutest little gal clothes. We laughed aloud as we sorted through peplum dresses
and peacoats…for 3-6 month olds. I mean come on, why does a 3 month old need an
outfit suited for a middle aged wedding attendee? But oh man, was it cute! At
25, you are old enough to be an aunt, and that is indeed special.
25 is a disheartening time. A lot of emotions re-surfaced
this week surrounding a breakup. Seeing my first love, a year after we’d broken
up. Wanting to be his friend….hearing from him that “friends” is not in the
cards from us. Seeing pictures of him with a new someone. Disconnecting via
social media. 25 is the time you make relational decisions that have long term
strings attached. You break up with the person who may not be the right fit for
that potential, elusive, “forever.” And you doubt that decision at every twist
and turn that life throws.
25 is a narrowing time. At 25 I’ve defined my closest
friends. I know who they are, and I know what it means to have quality
relationships. I know that unfortunately some friendships fade and that’s ok.
It’s acceptable and isn’t a negative reflection on anyone. At 25, I’m happy
living with my best friend. I know that it means constant laughter and minimal
stress. I say things like, “How sad when we have to get married and move out
and can’t live with each other anymore,” because that’s how great it is to live
with your best friend, at 25, in a tiny shoebox of an apartment by the beach.
Because when your best friend is your roommate, she knows when you put on
workout clothes with no intention of breaking a sweat. She knows that for you,
Fridays nights are for lounging with Netflix and Saturdays nights are for
dancing on tables. She knows that you lie about your height on your Hinge
profile and that swiping was only meant to be done side-by-side, laughing all
the while.
At 25, I treat my dog like he is my kid. At 25 I’m still
allowed to have days where I wish I was on track to having an actual kid but
know that I’m nowhere close. At 25 I have a professional career, but am still
looking for more meaning in the workplace. At 25 I breakdown crying on a
monthly basis for the hardships that overwhelm the families in my vicinity. I
listen as each friend tells me of their loved ones who have been checked into
rehab, sentenced to jail, are battling issues of mental health, have taken
their own lives. 25 has meant a lot of pain and sorrow, for hurting adults. And
at 25, you’re not shielded from this knowledge and you are not immune to the effects.
At 25, I’m documenting 25. All of the weird, fun, and unique
aspects of being 25. And that’s all there is to it.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
quick update!
I leave for my first day at my service site in a matter of minutes! I am so anxious to get there and see what they will have us doing and meet the ladies and children that we will be working with! We were told that the women's Aids support group meets today, so we'll likely be meeting them on our first day, but who knows! I'll find out soon enough! My lunch is packed with a peanut butter and jellly sandwich (which I'm likely to get tired of very rapidly after packing one every for service site) and I have tennis shoes on my feet. I'm saying a prayer and I think that's about the best I can do to be prepared for this day!
Say a prayer for me if you think about it today,
actually, if you could say a prayer for everyone going to their different service sites today, that would be great.
LOVE
Say a prayer for me if you think about it today,
actually, if you could say a prayer for everyone going to their different service sites today, that would be great.
LOVE
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Love is the only shocking act left on the planet
The people that I am here with in South Africa are beautiful. Absolutely, some of the most beautiful hearts. It makes me just well up with emotion when I see what kind, loving, and considerate people I am here with.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Blessed!
Do you remember this post?
"I felt as if today He (God) was speaking to me again, and telling me exactly where He wanted me to be the next month. We have service sites that we will volunteer at for the next month and recently we've been visiting the 5 different service sites so we can figure out which one we want to request to work at. RivLife seemed great today, I thought it was so amazing, but the funny thing was, after we left, a lot of the other students that I talked to said that they didn't like it and were confused by the whole place. haha. Funny the way God works: gave me a love for a place that others didn’t like? We'll see if I actually get placed at RivLife where I want to be."
Well, the answer is YES! I did get placed at RivLife! And I couldn't be more thrilled. I can not wait to begin and get out there in the community!
Here's the site if you want to check out what type of stuff I'll be doing :)
http://www.rivlife.com/about.html
I am also so glad that I'll have such a great group of people going with me to RivLife. Eight people got picked to go to this service site and it is such an amazing group! Going to RivLife with me is:
Carisa Hoogenboom
Alyssa Weibe
Staci Beukers
Daniele Duble
Nicole Herrman
Emma Cook
Sarah Moll
I love them so much already, I can't wait to see how these relationships will grow as we work and experience all of this together.
"I felt as if today He (God) was speaking to me again, and telling me exactly where He wanted me to be the next month. We have service sites that we will volunteer at for the next month and recently we've been visiting the 5 different service sites so we can figure out which one we want to request to work at. RivLife seemed great today, I thought it was so amazing, but the funny thing was, after we left, a lot of the other students that I talked to said that they didn't like it and were confused by the whole place. haha. Funny the way God works: gave me a love for a place that others didn’t like? We'll see if I actually get placed at RivLife where I want to be."
Well, the answer is YES! I did get placed at RivLife! And I couldn't be more thrilled. I can not wait to begin and get out there in the community!
Here's the site if you want to check out what type of stuff I'll be doing :)
http://www.rivlife.com/about.html
I am also so glad that I'll have such a great group of people going with me to RivLife. Eight people got picked to go to this service site and it is such an amazing group! Going to RivLife with me is:
Carisa Hoogenboom
Alyssa Weibe
Staci Beukers
Daniele Duble
Nicole Herrman
Emma Cook
Sarah Moll
I love them so much already, I can't wait to see how these relationships will grow as we work and experience all of this together.
Majesty Manifested
First hike of South Africa! It was the best day here yet! It was so incredibly beautiful. It didn't look real. The sky was SO blue with big puffy white clouds (like the kind you would draw in pictures when you were little) and everything else was vibrant green! Oh gosh, it was surreal. It was nice to do some physical activity, we hiked and then we got to climb this one giant rock thing, and then we randomly got to swim! I say randomly because there was the perfect river that flowed through the Drakensburg mountains that we got to down to. None of us wore bathing suits so we all started by just putting out feet in the water. Then, Brett decided, "I want to go in!" So he took off his shirt and got right in. No other boys joined, but some of us girls were jealous. We all complained "How come girls can't just do that?" But we said "Who cares, we'll just get in with all of clothes. So, Daniele, Cynthia, Emma, and I all got in at the same time and slid down the natural rock slide!!! It was a blast! The current was so strong that it would just push you down the river and it was hard to resist it and stop yourself! Oh man did we laugh. We were ALL smiles, having the best time. It was a long soppy ride home, but so so worth it. I love these adventures and the fun friends I get to go on them with.
Confession or Encouragement! Or Both!
Okay, so as mentioned in a previous post, I'm part of the Activities Committee and on Friday, we put together a bonfire! There is this giant (and I mean really giant) bonfire pit on campus that we wanted to make use of. We had everything ready.....wood, lighter, chocolate/marshmallows/graham crackers.....BUT we didn't test out the fire pit before hand and just assumed it would work fine. Well, we tried to get the fire a goin' but initially had a lot of trouble making the fire. It's been raining so the firepit and the wood in it and such were all too wet to hold a good fire. Some of the boys worked really hard to get it going and while we waited, we spontaneously started doing trust falls!
You'll remember that I said this was a giant firepit, so the sides of it stood about 4 feet high. Well some people were up there standing on it, and others were down below. One of the boys, Logan, looked down at us standing below and said something about wanting to crowd dive, and everyone basically said "Go for it!" So, we all stuck our arms out and told him to do it more like a trust fall: Turn around and slowly fall back onto us and trust us to cath him. Chelsea had the bright idea of making him tell a confession before he fell (She got the idea from Mean Girls, so if you've seen that movie, you know what I'm talking about! ). He went ahead and told his confession and fell! We caught him, dont worry. But, after that, Alex went. Then I went. Then EVERYONE went! Honestly I wish I had a video of that night, IT WAS SO FUN! We would pick out someone we wanted to go and start chanting their name - literally the whole group would chant their name and we must have done around 40 times. We were all basically at the bonfire and there's 53 of us. Hearing everyone's confession was hilarious! Here were some of the highlights as far as confessions....
Logan: "I download lost every week and that's why the internet broadband is so slow!"
Tanya: "One time, I did a workout video in the prayer chapel!"
Daniele: "I've stolen cookie dough from the kitchen more than once!"
Jake: "I still don't know everyone's name!"
Tony: "I still sleep with a baby blanket! and it's pink! and I'm a boy."
Allie: "I have 5 bags of flaming hot cheetos hidden in my chalet!"
Staci: "My confession is, my mom really does have it going on!"
Such a great great night! My confession was picked for me before I could really think about it. Tanya shouted, "Come clean about how you sleep with your eyes open!"
Okay, so, truth time: SOMETIMES, i sleep with my eyes half open. This is not something I usually tell people because I find it kinda creepy and embarassing but whatevs. Now you all know! My lovely roomie figured out this hidden talent of mine on the second night here. It's pretty funny now :)
Those are some of the best pics, even though there were so many good ones! After the trust falls, the fire was going and we had a wonderful rest of the night around the campfire, with s'mores ( we roasted our mallows on real pieces of branch! haha), and singing along with Emily and Jon's playing of guitar and drum. A very good night.
You'll remember that I said this was a giant firepit, so the sides of it stood about 4 feet high. Well some people were up there standing on it, and others were down below. One of the boys, Logan, looked down at us standing below and said something about wanting to crowd dive, and everyone basically said "Go for it!" So, we all stuck our arms out and told him to do it more like a trust fall: Turn around and slowly fall back onto us and trust us to cath him. Chelsea had the bright idea of making him tell a confession before he fell (She got the idea from Mean Girls, so if you've seen that movie, you know what I'm talking about! ). He went ahead and told his confession and fell! We caught him, dont worry. But, after that, Alex went. Then I went. Then EVERYONE went! Honestly I wish I had a video of that night, IT WAS SO FUN! We would pick out someone we wanted to go and start chanting their name - literally the whole group would chant their name and we must have done around 40 times. We were all basically at the bonfire and there's 53 of us. Hearing everyone's confession was hilarious! Here were some of the highlights as far as confessions....
Logan: "I download lost every week and that's why the internet broadband is so slow!"
Tanya: "One time, I did a workout video in the prayer chapel!"
Daniele: "I've stolen cookie dough from the kitchen more than once!"
Jake: "I still don't know everyone's name!"
Tony: "I still sleep with a baby blanket! and it's pink! and I'm a boy."
Allie: "I have 5 bags of flaming hot cheetos hidden in my chalet!"
Staci: "My confession is, my mom really does have it going on!"
Such a great great night! My confession was picked for me before I could really think about it. Tanya shouted, "Come clean about how you sleep with your eyes open!"
Okay, so, truth time: SOMETIMES, i sleep with my eyes half open. This is not something I usually tell people because I find it kinda creepy and embarassing but whatevs. Now you all know! My lovely roomie figured out this hidden talent of mine on the second night here. It's pretty funny now :)
Those are some of the best pics, even though there were so many good ones! After the trust falls, the fire was going and we had a wonderful rest of the night around the campfire, with s'mores ( we roasted our mallows on real pieces of branch! haha), and singing along with Emily and Jon's playing of guitar and drum. A very good night.
Some South Afican Lovin'
Well Hi!
it's been a while since I wrote on here and I definitely promised in my last post that I would be updating more often. That didn't occur as planned, but honestly, can you blame me? When there's a waterfall outside my window, volleyballs to be used, a soccer field to be played on, monkeys to shoot with paintball guns (....yup!), and a pretty heavy class schedule, I don't find the urge very often to sit at my computer and type. But! no more excuses, here goes three posts in a row :)
I am part of the Activities Committee here at AE (African Enterprise - the place where we stay) and joining it with about 14 of my peers was one of the best decisions I've made here thus far. It's a blast! We have so so many wonderful ideas of things to plan, and they're actually happening! We are a plannin' and our first event went on without any glitches.
Just some of the Activities Committee :)
We planned a Valentine's Day dinner, complete with a gourmet meal that we chose, roses, tea lights, and secret valentines! We held the dinner in the Jabulani (zulu for "happy") tent on campus. We reserved it early and set up round tables with red and black table cloths and rose centerpieces. We began setting up a few hours prior and came up with more and more ideas as time passed about how to better the night. We came up with the idea of having a photographer stand at the entrance to take pictures as every one walked in looking their best. Oh ya, I forgot to mention that we made it a semi-formal affair. Everyone looked beautiful! We also came up with the idea of making a playlist for the evening that featured artists such as Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, and Dean Martin. Everything looked so classy.
Logan was chief planner of this event, and has somewhat informally taken on the role as leader in our Activities Committee. He is wonderful at it! He came up with the idea of featuring a movie after the dinner, and he even moved couches into the classroom so we could comfortably watch the movie - 50 first dates - on the big projector screen. He came up with, at the last minute, having popcorn for the movie! Without hesitation he got the kitchen going and popcorn was being made! A nice taste of home.
The dinner was so so delicious! We chose to have chicken fettucini alfredo that night with salad and watermelon. The food was such a wonderful change of pace from what we normally have for meals here. Yummmm!
The order of the night went as follows:
1. First, we walked in, dressed to the nines and took a lot of pictures with eachother! It was so nice to actually get ready for once here. None of us really straighten our hair here, due to the intense humidity, and we don't really wear make-up beacuse we usually would end up sweating it off or washing it off from jumping the swimming hole or waterfall. But, that night, everyone looked great!
2. Next we ate the delicious food that the nice cooking staff prepared. During dinner we also took a lot of pictures! Lots of goofy ones :)
My friends and I goofing off with the roses
3. During dinner, Logan got up and announced that it was time to do our secret valentine gift exchange. We had all drawn names and bought a 5 dollar gift for our secret person within the days leading up to Valentines day. Five dollars goes a LONG way in South Africa! You would be so surpised. My secret person was Tony Jien. He is awesome! He's honestly the comic relief on this trip and I love having him as a new friend. Did I mention that he is from Bolivia? Or that he speaks at least 3 languages....but with how fast he's learning Zulu, i'm sure he'll be quadlingual in no time. I had to get him just the right gift. I went with African painted Moracca's - and they were a hit! He loved them and was taking pictures and dancing around with them....AND so was everyone else! It's so funny looking at the pictures from that night because the lime green moraccas seem to have made their way into almost every one of the pictures.
Tony and I goofing off with the Morrocas!
4. After dinner, people walked around to everyone else, asked about their secret valentines and took more pictures. Some people had the bright idea of swing dancing, so they began doing that too. I'm not sure whose doing it was, but all of a sudden, swing dancing turned into salsa dancing after someone switched up the music. It was so fun! Everyone was laughing and simply having the best time trying to learn new moves from Leslie, our coordinator, and Tony, same guy mentioned above. It was spontaneous and easily went on the record for best night in South Africa thus far. One of the greatest parts about this program is the relationships, as basic as that is. We spend every waking (and sleeping) hour together, and I love the times when we're just able to have fun with eachother and laugh - which is pretty much every day.
5. After all this, those of us in the Activities Committee cleaned up, and then everyone watched 50 first dates and ate popcorn and our valentines chocolates. I ducked out of the movie a little early to skype my family and do homework that was due late that night, but all in all it was a fun, wonderful, night!
South African Valentines day > any other Valentines day out there :)
it's been a while since I wrote on here and I definitely promised in my last post that I would be updating more often. That didn't occur as planned, but honestly, can you blame me? When there's a waterfall outside my window, volleyballs to be used, a soccer field to be played on, monkeys to shoot with paintball guns (....yup!), and a pretty heavy class schedule, I don't find the urge very often to sit at my computer and type. But! no more excuses, here goes three posts in a row :)
I am part of the Activities Committee here at AE (African Enterprise - the place where we stay) and joining it with about 14 of my peers was one of the best decisions I've made here thus far. It's a blast! We have so so many wonderful ideas of things to plan, and they're actually happening! We are a plannin' and our first event went on without any glitches.
Just some of the Activities Committee :)
We planned a Valentine's Day dinner, complete with a gourmet meal that we chose, roses, tea lights, and secret valentines! We held the dinner in the Jabulani (zulu for "happy") tent on campus. We reserved it early and set up round tables with red and black table cloths and rose centerpieces. We began setting up a few hours prior and came up with more and more ideas as time passed about how to better the night. We came up with the idea of having a photographer stand at the entrance to take pictures as every one walked in looking their best. Oh ya, I forgot to mention that we made it a semi-formal affair. Everyone looked beautiful! We also came up with the idea of making a playlist for the evening that featured artists such as Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, and Dean Martin. Everything looked so classy.
Logan was chief planner of this event, and has somewhat informally taken on the role as leader in our Activities Committee. He is wonderful at it! He came up with the idea of featuring a movie after the dinner, and he even moved couches into the classroom so we could comfortably watch the movie - 50 first dates - on the big projector screen. He came up with, at the last minute, having popcorn for the movie! Without hesitation he got the kitchen going and popcorn was being made! A nice taste of home.
The dinner was so so delicious! We chose to have chicken fettucini alfredo that night with salad and watermelon. The food was such a wonderful change of pace from what we normally have for meals here. Yummmm!
The order of the night went as follows:
1. First, we walked in, dressed to the nines and took a lot of pictures with eachother! It was so nice to actually get ready for once here. None of us really straighten our hair here, due to the intense humidity, and we don't really wear make-up beacuse we usually would end up sweating it off or washing it off from jumping the swimming hole or waterfall. But, that night, everyone looked great!
2. Next we ate the delicious food that the nice cooking staff prepared. During dinner we also took a lot of pictures! Lots of goofy ones :)
My friends and I goofing off with the roses
3. During dinner, Logan got up and announced that it was time to do our secret valentine gift exchange. We had all drawn names and bought a 5 dollar gift for our secret person within the days leading up to Valentines day. Five dollars goes a LONG way in South Africa! You would be so surpised. My secret person was Tony Jien. He is awesome! He's honestly the comic relief on this trip and I love having him as a new friend. Did I mention that he is from Bolivia? Or that he speaks at least 3 languages....but with how fast he's learning Zulu, i'm sure he'll be quadlingual in no time. I had to get him just the right gift. I went with African painted Moracca's - and they were a hit! He loved them and was taking pictures and dancing around with them....AND so was everyone else! It's so funny looking at the pictures from that night because the lime green moraccas seem to have made their way into almost every one of the pictures.
Tony and I goofing off with the Morrocas!
4. After dinner, people walked around to everyone else, asked about their secret valentines and took more pictures. Some people had the bright idea of swing dancing, so they began doing that too. I'm not sure whose doing it was, but all of a sudden, swing dancing turned into salsa dancing after someone switched up the music. It was so fun! Everyone was laughing and simply having the best time trying to learn new moves from Leslie, our coordinator, and Tony, same guy mentioned above. It was spontaneous and easily went on the record for best night in South Africa thus far. One of the greatest parts about this program is the relationships, as basic as that is. We spend every waking (and sleeping) hour together, and I love the times when we're just able to have fun with eachother and laugh - which is pretty much every day.
5. After all this, those of us in the Activities Committee cleaned up, and then everyone watched 50 first dates and ate popcorn and our valentines chocolates. I ducked out of the movie a little early to skype my family and do homework that was due late that night, but all in all it was a fun, wonderful, night!
South African Valentines day > any other Valentines day out there :)
Friday, February 12, 2010
God above all the world in motion, God above all my hopes and fears
I don't care what the world throws at me now,
Everything's gonna be alright!
Cause I know my God saved the day! and I know His Word never fails! And I know my God made a way for me.
It's gonna be alright! :)
Everything's gonna be alright!
Cause I know my God saved the day! and I know His Word never fails! And I know my God made a way for me.
It's gonna be alright! :)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I really AM in South Africa! I promise!
I think the reason it has taken me so long to blog was because every time I would go to start, I would feel like I had missed so many days already and did not want to have to catch up in writing. During the first 3 days we didn't really have internet and then after that, the task of writing about all that I had missed in writing seemed so so daunting.
SO
I'll just give a brief overview of the past almost 3 weeks. And, after that I'll try to update more often and in detail from here on out :)
THINGS ARE GOING GREAT! This whole experience is simply beautiful. I feel so so blessed and the past few days I've felt overwhelmed by the turn of events in my life and just about how much I see God's hand and will in my life. How cool!
I never thought I'd study social work. Journalism was in the plan,. I never thought my study abroad experience would be in South Africa of all places. Oxford was in the plan. I remember hearing about the Oxford program and I just said "Oh well that's a given. I'm going there for sure, now to just figure out which semester..." Europe was my favorite place I'd ever been, Roxy and I had been talking about our love for Oxford since we were freshman in High School, and it was focused for people who loved and studied English. HA little did I know that God would change my plans. And, I have absolutely no regrets about not being in Oxford, I don't really want to be there at this point in my life. Now, Spain next summer, that's a different story! (more to come on that later). I'm just loving where God has brought me and can't wait to see where He takes me next.
I felt as if today He was speaking to me again, and telling me exactly where He wanted me to be the next month. We have service sites that we will volunteer at for the next month and recently we've been visiting the 5 different service sites so we can figure out which one we want to request to work at. RivLife seemed great today, I thought it was so amazing, but the funny thing was, after we left, a lot of the other students that I talked to said that they didn't like it and were confused by the whole place. haha. Funny the way God works: gave me a love for a place that others didn’t like? We'll see if I actually get placed at RivLife where I want to be. There have been other times that I was sure I knew what God wanted for me, like the time I was sure I was being called to Ghana but didn't get accepted onto the team. That was a humbling experience. So, we will simply see where God wants me :)
Anyways, that's some great stuff I've been realizing recently, but I will catch you up a bit on before recently.
We had basically the longest travel time in the entire world. It took all in all about 22 hours to get to Johannesburg - South Africa's only international airport. Suprisingly, I didn't mind the flying too much at all! I'm a mellow person who doesn't always have to be moving so I enjoyed the majority of the flight. I slept a lot, read, listened to music, talked to friends, and watched movies. Doesn't that sound like a nice time? Once we arrived, we stayed for two nights there. Sarah Moll was my roommate for the few days and I just love her :) The first day we got there, it was evening time so we just went next door to a restaurant and ate. Here is where I first really saw that South African food is pretty different from American food. This is still taking some getting used to. It's not that it's anything crazy that they're serving us, it's usually just that the way they prepare it is different and doesn't exactly remind you of the comforts of home. But hey, who travels half way around the world to have home?
The next day we went to a city called Soweto. Soweto is mainly a poor area and this is where I saw a township for the first time. We also visited the largest Catholic church in Johannesburg, which had a beautiful, memorable, stain glass window. On one side of the stain glass, facing the outside, was a picture of a black Jesus and Mary. On the other side was a white Jesus and Mary. This was meant to represent that Jesus came for both blacks and whites. By the way, in South Africa, the terms they use for race are black, white, and colored. At first I didn't know the difference when they were referrring to black and colored, but colored is any person who is not fully black or fully white. Someone who is half black and half white would be called colored, someone who is Indian would be called colored, I would be called colored. Anyway, that was a neat piece of art to see. Also on this day we went to the apartheid museum. The museum also happened to have a Nelson Mandela exhibit going on which was neat to see. There was this outdoor quote wall that had a lot of quotes from Mandela, which a thought was really neat and is what sticks out most in my mind about that museum.
The next day we hopped on a plane pretty earlly that morning and flew another hour and a half to Durban. That flight went so quick! Basically ascended, then descended, then off the plane. Yay! We were finally home! We drove about another 45 minutes into town to Pietermaritzburg (or just Maritzburg) which was where we would be staying for the next 3 months! I had no idea how beautiful this campus would be! it was absolutely breathtaking! It was the weirdest thing, I felt like I had never ever seen the campus in pictures before. I did my fair share of research before deciding to apply for this program and had thought up of some totally different image in my head of what the campus would look like! But, like I said, it was an amazing first experience. The only down side was how ridiculously hot it was that day haha. Pietermaritzburg has an average of 90% humidity. Yes, and it runs about in the 90 degree Fahrenheit range on most days. As Uncle Rich would say, "It's a scorcher!" Right gabbie? :)
I was also amazed that day to see what a cute new "chalet" my roommie Tanya and I would be living in, which is somewhat like a dorm, and that there is an incredible waterfall right outside my window!!! Talk about breathtaking and perfection. I don't think there's a better depiction of those two adjectives, than this view outside my window. We can hear it babbling all day and night, which I now realize that I tend to tune out, unlike at the beginning. But, when I remember how lucky I am, I take some time to sit and listen to the rippling sound.
That first day we arrived on campus was 17 days ago. In the last 17 days I've been getting acclimated to this new place and to starting school again. It is SO much harder to focus on school here when there's a lot of other fun things going on around you and outside in the warm sun or cool watering hole. For fun, we play soccer, we lay out on the lawn with our laptops and books, we take pictures in the beautiful green jungly scenery, we go in the waterfall or swim in the watering hole, we go on walks through the game reserve, we do pilates in the hallway, we go the the Keg and Hedgehog restaurant down the road. That's the majority of our leisure.
As far as planned activities, I've gotten to go to a lion park (which was really cool, obviously!) and we all spent the weekend in Durban this weekend, which was so great. I got to go in the Indian Ocean for the first time! That is the third ocean I've been in, how blessed am I? Some people never even get to see a real beach in their lifetime! The Indian Ocean runs 77+ degrees. Crazy, right? It was soooo warm. A little too warm? But still wonderful!
One of the coolest experiences here was when I got to see Zebras!!! It's pronounced here as zeh-bras actually :) We were just going on our morning walk through the game reserve and there they were! So amazing! Four zebras: 3 adults and one baby :) My other favorite experience so far has been going to the service sites. I'm excited to see where I end up and I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy the month portion of our study abroad experience!
Random jump of topics, but as far as Pietermaritzburg goes, I feel I should mention what the city is like. Well, the population in this city is mostly black, and more specifically is is mostly made up of Zulu people. There are multiple tribes in South Africa, but being that we are in the Kwazulu Natal province, the zulu people make up a large part of it. The Kwazulu-Natal area also has a lot of Indian people. In fact, Kwazulu Natal has the largest Indian population outside of the country of India. Pretty sweet, huh? The Indian culture was the focus of our weekend in Durban - the one where I got to go in the Indian Ocean. We got to go to an Indian church and eat at the pastor's house after with all of his extended family. They were so incredibly hospitable and it was such a great experience.
My classes here are going really well. I am learning so so much in my Life and Teachings of Jesus class. I loving learning about the Bible so so much, which has been a stuggle for me, at times, in the past. I'm loving reading the Bible. I'm learning so much and it's exactly what I need right now. My teacher, Reg, is phenomenal. He presents the info so well and is so credible. He has spent his entire life basically studying the Bible and researching what others view as errors and discrepancies in the Bible. He has so much info to give and I love hearing it. I actually am restraining myself from asking so many questions in class because I don't want to annoy the rest of the class with my constant raised hand! (I know some of you may think that I should just ask all my questions anyway, but whatever, I'm asking the important ones haha).
The group here is so great as well. I've made some of the greatest girlfriends. And, I love having a group of 53 students instead of 35 like they have had in previous semesters. I feel like I always get to hang out with someone different and get to know everyone a little bit better. It's so fun and everyone on the trip is saying the exact same thing, WE HAVE SUCH A GREAT GROUP! I love love these people :)
As far as the people back home, I am missing my family, and gabbie and alexa. And some APU friends. I miss my brother a lot a lot, with his constant joking - i love that about him! I feel so lucky when I get to skype with my mom dad and brother all at the same time. I just love seeing that dynamic again. I like skyping with the one or two of them too, but seeing them together is the best. This is all a difficult feeling to explain, because, I usually don't feel homesick, but I do miss home when I think about it. At the beginning, I just didnt really think about it so I didnt get homesick and it took me quite a few days here until I actually skyped my parents for the first time. I was completely ok with that and it didn't make me sad to see them. Now, however, I tend to think about them a lot more, which in turn makes me miss them, and then when I see them on skype, sometimes it makes me sad. I got really frustrated one day because I missed them, and was trying to tell them that, but skype kept cutting me out, so I had to repeat it 5 times and then basically just hang up right after. Between my frustration with skype and missing them and having to admit 5 times that I was missing home which was hard for me to say (It was a pride thing, I know it. I was somewhat near people when skyping and I hated having to say that I missed home in front of them. As if I'm not allowed to miss my family. But I realize that I do feel like that), between all of that, I hung up on skype and I just cried. That's the only day I've cried about missing home.
After that paragraph, it may seem like I'm not fully enjoying being here, but I totally and completely am! I'm loving it. It's just a big change that I'm not fully used to yet. I'm like the kid who goes to college out of state his freshman year and is not quite sure what to do with himself yet, it takes a little time! :) I started D-group yesterday, which I'm super excited for - just another reason why I'm loving my time here! It's with a group of 8 other wonderful girls and I can't wait to grow with them and have fun with them! yay!
Also, today I got to go on an art fieldtrip! We went to a gallery, but a large part of the gallery happened to be closed down at this time. Since our driver wasn't going to be back for til 12:30 and we basically walked around the who museam twice before even 10:00, we got to sit in the coffe shop for 2 hours! Our whole art class with our art teacher, in the most adorable, artsy coffee shop inside the gallery. It was beautiful.
Well that was basically what I did today, went to that art gallery, and then just worked on papers. I have a lot more work to go so I better get to it!
Want to be a pal and send me mail?
Send letters to this!:
Bianca Portal
PO Box 13870, Cascades 3202
Pietermaritzburg, KZN
South Africa
or send any packages to this!:
Bianca Portal
1 Nonsuch Rd.
Pietermaritzburg, South Africa 3201
Mail takes a long time to receive so even though I'm going to be at this campus another couple months before traveling down to Capetown, they suggest that any mail be sent out within the next 4 weeks.
That's all for now...
love you!
Bee
SO
I'll just give a brief overview of the past almost 3 weeks. And, after that I'll try to update more often and in detail from here on out :)
THINGS ARE GOING GREAT! This whole experience is simply beautiful. I feel so so blessed and the past few days I've felt overwhelmed by the turn of events in my life and just about how much I see God's hand and will in my life. How cool!
I never thought I'd study social work. Journalism was in the plan,. I never thought my study abroad experience would be in South Africa of all places. Oxford was in the plan. I remember hearing about the Oxford program and I just said "Oh well that's a given. I'm going there for sure, now to just figure out which semester..." Europe was my favorite place I'd ever been, Roxy and I had been talking about our love for Oxford since we were freshman in High School, and it was focused for people who loved and studied English. HA little did I know that God would change my plans. And, I have absolutely no regrets about not being in Oxford, I don't really want to be there at this point in my life. Now, Spain next summer, that's a different story! (more to come on that later). I'm just loving where God has brought me and can't wait to see where He takes me next.
I felt as if today He was speaking to me again, and telling me exactly where He wanted me to be the next month. We have service sites that we will volunteer at for the next month and recently we've been visiting the 5 different service sites so we can figure out which one we want to request to work at. RivLife seemed great today, I thought it was so amazing, but the funny thing was, after we left, a lot of the other students that I talked to said that they didn't like it and were confused by the whole place. haha. Funny the way God works: gave me a love for a place that others didn’t like? We'll see if I actually get placed at RivLife where I want to be. There have been other times that I was sure I knew what God wanted for me, like the time I was sure I was being called to Ghana but didn't get accepted onto the team. That was a humbling experience. So, we will simply see where God wants me :)
Anyways, that's some great stuff I've been realizing recently, but I will catch you up a bit on before recently.
We had basically the longest travel time in the entire world. It took all in all about 22 hours to get to Johannesburg - South Africa's only international airport. Suprisingly, I didn't mind the flying too much at all! I'm a mellow person who doesn't always have to be moving so I enjoyed the majority of the flight. I slept a lot, read, listened to music, talked to friends, and watched movies. Doesn't that sound like a nice time? Once we arrived, we stayed for two nights there. Sarah Moll was my roommate for the few days and I just love her :) The first day we got there, it was evening time so we just went next door to a restaurant and ate. Here is where I first really saw that South African food is pretty different from American food. This is still taking some getting used to. It's not that it's anything crazy that they're serving us, it's usually just that the way they prepare it is different and doesn't exactly remind you of the comforts of home. But hey, who travels half way around the world to have home?
The next day we went to a city called Soweto. Soweto is mainly a poor area and this is where I saw a township for the first time. We also visited the largest Catholic church in Johannesburg, which had a beautiful, memorable, stain glass window. On one side of the stain glass, facing the outside, was a picture of a black Jesus and Mary. On the other side was a white Jesus and Mary. This was meant to represent that Jesus came for both blacks and whites. By the way, in South Africa, the terms they use for race are black, white, and colored. At first I didn't know the difference when they were referrring to black and colored, but colored is any person who is not fully black or fully white. Someone who is half black and half white would be called colored, someone who is Indian would be called colored, I would be called colored. Anyway, that was a neat piece of art to see. Also on this day we went to the apartheid museum. The museum also happened to have a Nelson Mandela exhibit going on which was neat to see. There was this outdoor quote wall that had a lot of quotes from Mandela, which a thought was really neat and is what sticks out most in my mind about that museum.
The next day we hopped on a plane pretty earlly that morning and flew another hour and a half to Durban. That flight went so quick! Basically ascended, then descended, then off the plane. Yay! We were finally home! We drove about another 45 minutes into town to Pietermaritzburg (or just Maritzburg) which was where we would be staying for the next 3 months! I had no idea how beautiful this campus would be! it was absolutely breathtaking! It was the weirdest thing, I felt like I had never ever seen the campus in pictures before. I did my fair share of research before deciding to apply for this program and had thought up of some totally different image in my head of what the campus would look like! But, like I said, it was an amazing first experience. The only down side was how ridiculously hot it was that day haha. Pietermaritzburg has an average of 90% humidity. Yes, and it runs about in the 90 degree Fahrenheit range on most days. As Uncle Rich would say, "It's a scorcher!" Right gabbie? :)
I was also amazed that day to see what a cute new "chalet" my roommie Tanya and I would be living in, which is somewhat like a dorm, and that there is an incredible waterfall right outside my window!!! Talk about breathtaking and perfection. I don't think there's a better depiction of those two adjectives, than this view outside my window. We can hear it babbling all day and night, which I now realize that I tend to tune out, unlike at the beginning. But, when I remember how lucky I am, I take some time to sit and listen to the rippling sound.
That first day we arrived on campus was 17 days ago. In the last 17 days I've been getting acclimated to this new place and to starting school again. It is SO much harder to focus on school here when there's a lot of other fun things going on around you and outside in the warm sun or cool watering hole. For fun, we play soccer, we lay out on the lawn with our laptops and books, we take pictures in the beautiful green jungly scenery, we go in the waterfall or swim in the watering hole, we go on walks through the game reserve, we do pilates in the hallway, we go the the Keg and Hedgehog restaurant down the road. That's the majority of our leisure.
As far as planned activities, I've gotten to go to a lion park (which was really cool, obviously!) and we all spent the weekend in Durban this weekend, which was so great. I got to go in the Indian Ocean for the first time! That is the third ocean I've been in, how blessed am I? Some people never even get to see a real beach in their lifetime! The Indian Ocean runs 77+ degrees. Crazy, right? It was soooo warm. A little too warm? But still wonderful!
One of the coolest experiences here was when I got to see Zebras!!! It's pronounced here as zeh-bras actually :) We were just going on our morning walk through the game reserve and there they were! So amazing! Four zebras: 3 adults and one baby :) My other favorite experience so far has been going to the service sites. I'm excited to see where I end up and I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy the month portion of our study abroad experience!
Random jump of topics, but as far as Pietermaritzburg goes, I feel I should mention what the city is like. Well, the population in this city is mostly black, and more specifically is is mostly made up of Zulu people. There are multiple tribes in South Africa, but being that we are in the Kwazulu Natal province, the zulu people make up a large part of it. The Kwazulu-Natal area also has a lot of Indian people. In fact, Kwazulu Natal has the largest Indian population outside of the country of India. Pretty sweet, huh? The Indian culture was the focus of our weekend in Durban - the one where I got to go in the Indian Ocean. We got to go to an Indian church and eat at the pastor's house after with all of his extended family. They were so incredibly hospitable and it was such a great experience.
My classes here are going really well. I am learning so so much in my Life and Teachings of Jesus class. I loving learning about the Bible so so much, which has been a stuggle for me, at times, in the past. I'm loving reading the Bible. I'm learning so much and it's exactly what I need right now. My teacher, Reg, is phenomenal. He presents the info so well and is so credible. He has spent his entire life basically studying the Bible and researching what others view as errors and discrepancies in the Bible. He has so much info to give and I love hearing it. I actually am restraining myself from asking so many questions in class because I don't want to annoy the rest of the class with my constant raised hand! (I know some of you may think that I should just ask all my questions anyway, but whatever, I'm asking the important ones haha).
The group here is so great as well. I've made some of the greatest girlfriends. And, I love having a group of 53 students instead of 35 like they have had in previous semesters. I feel like I always get to hang out with someone different and get to know everyone a little bit better. It's so fun and everyone on the trip is saying the exact same thing, WE HAVE SUCH A GREAT GROUP! I love love these people :)
As far as the people back home, I am missing my family, and gabbie and alexa. And some APU friends. I miss my brother a lot a lot, with his constant joking - i love that about him! I feel so lucky when I get to skype with my mom dad and brother all at the same time. I just love seeing that dynamic again. I like skyping with the one or two of them too, but seeing them together is the best. This is all a difficult feeling to explain, because, I usually don't feel homesick, but I do miss home when I think about it. At the beginning, I just didnt really think about it so I didnt get homesick and it took me quite a few days here until I actually skyped my parents for the first time. I was completely ok with that and it didn't make me sad to see them. Now, however, I tend to think about them a lot more, which in turn makes me miss them, and then when I see them on skype, sometimes it makes me sad. I got really frustrated one day because I missed them, and was trying to tell them that, but skype kept cutting me out, so I had to repeat it 5 times and then basically just hang up right after. Between my frustration with skype and missing them and having to admit 5 times that I was missing home which was hard for me to say (It was a pride thing, I know it. I was somewhat near people when skyping and I hated having to say that I missed home in front of them. As if I'm not allowed to miss my family. But I realize that I do feel like that), between all of that, I hung up on skype and I just cried. That's the only day I've cried about missing home.
After that paragraph, it may seem like I'm not fully enjoying being here, but I totally and completely am! I'm loving it. It's just a big change that I'm not fully used to yet. I'm like the kid who goes to college out of state his freshman year and is not quite sure what to do with himself yet, it takes a little time! :) I started D-group yesterday, which I'm super excited for - just another reason why I'm loving my time here! It's with a group of 8 other wonderful girls and I can't wait to grow with them and have fun with them! yay!
Also, today I got to go on an art fieldtrip! We went to a gallery, but a large part of the gallery happened to be closed down at this time. Since our driver wasn't going to be back for til 12:30 and we basically walked around the who museam twice before even 10:00, we got to sit in the coffe shop for 2 hours! Our whole art class with our art teacher, in the most adorable, artsy coffee shop inside the gallery. It was beautiful.
Well that was basically what I did today, went to that art gallery, and then just worked on papers. I have a lot more work to go so I better get to it!
Want to be a pal and send me mail?
Send letters to this!:
Bianca Portal
PO Box 13870, Cascades 3202
Pietermaritzburg, KZN
South Africa
or send any packages to this!:
Bianca Portal
1 Nonsuch Rd.
Pietermaritzburg, South Africa 3201
Mail takes a long time to receive so even though I'm going to be at this campus another couple months before traveling down to Capetown, they suggest that any mail be sent out within the next 4 weeks.
That's all for now...
love you!
Bee
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
hi! this week is fun!
This has been a fun week and I can't for the rest of it :)
Yup its only Tuesday but I'm liking the way things are going. I haven't been writing in my blog at all so I figure that now is a good time to start again.
My week so far:
SUNDAY - I went to APU to hang out with one of my greatest friends, Michelle Appleby. I love her SO much and I wanted to say bye to her before she went to study at High Sierra for the semester. If you don't go to my school, fyi the High Sierra program is basically a semester of outdoorsy greatness, like rockclimbing, hiking, snowboarding, wakeboarding, and who knows what else. It all takes place up by Yosemite. It sounds AMAZING and I'm so stoked for Michelle, and my other good friend Moriah, who get to go! So on Sunday I got to hangout with Michelle, Moriah, my friend Amy, and my friend Stephen. I love all of them very much. I brought my new longboard so I could ride it around before I leave for South Africa. Riding around was so fun. I also had dinner in the lovely caf (right....) with my friends. Even though the caf is kind of awful, it was a great time because I randomly saw so many friends in there! I really really like my school and all of the amazing people that go there. I'm so excited my brother decided this week that he wants to go to APU. He's a junior, so this decision could change but he's stoked about it and is going to try for the full ride scholarship there. Anyway, between the good people, the longboarding, the caf, the bbq in UP, and PJC, it was a perfect day.
MONDAY - Honestly, all I really did for the first half of the day was sleep in and do a laundry. But, in the evening I got crafty. I made my friend Taylor a picture frame :) I painted it and put lace and buttons on it. It turned out kind of cute/kind of like a third grader did it haha but I had fun. So random, so I gave it to her the next day and she was like "Oh my gosh I made you one too!" We had gone together last semester to buy some things at Michaels and we both bought some wooden frames to paint. We each decided on our own to paint one for each other without the other knowing :) I love mine. She put an owl on it, because I really like owls, and it is perched upon a branch made with old guitar strings. Um, could it be any more perfect?
TUESDAY - I woke up, went to gym with Gabbie, worked my butt off and now I am sore. It's a goooood feeling. After that I did some shopping for South Africa stuff, and after that, I went home to my lovely family, showered, ate good dinner, and then left to APU to see Taylor! We just talked there and watched American Idol - not usually one of my favorite shows but it was fun :) We exchanged pictures frames and then I headed back to my casa. This is where I currently sit and write this blog!
WEDNESDAY - Tomorrow's wednesday and I'm excited to go to Generate with Alexa! Generate's an awesome College church service on Wednesday nights at 7:30 at Crossroads in Corona. I love it, and I seriously recommend it to anyone wanting to find a good church. I have a hard time trusting churches and sticking to one. It's not something I'm proud of, but anyway, this a service I truly love and always get a good message out of. I like a lot, you should check it out!
THURSDAY - I'm going snowboarding! Also! Marisa flies in! Also! I may be going clubbing! Thursday has a lot going on so we'll see what I fit in. For sure I'm snowboarding, but gabbie wants me to go clubbing with her - I want to go too - but I also want to see Marisa when she gets here. We'll see!
FRIDAY - I'm driving up to a cabin in Big Bear with Marisa, Junior, his girlfriend, and Bobby. We're staying the night and going snowboarding the next day at Bear Mountain! I've never been and the boxes/rails/jumps/slopes are all supposed to be really great compared to Mt. High.
SATURDAY - snowboarding!!!
SUNDAY - My 20th birthday! Yup, I turn twenty. It's so weird to think about. It sounds too old. Ready or not, here it is! I'm excited though :) My family's all going to come over as a going away get-together, because I'm heading back to APU on Monday.
TUES through THURS - I have a couple meetings for South Africa and then I leave! Thursday at 2:30 in the morning, I board a bus from APU to Los Angeles. And away I go!
Yup its only Tuesday but I'm liking the way things are going. I haven't been writing in my blog at all so I figure that now is a good time to start again.
My week so far:
SUNDAY - I went to APU to hang out with one of my greatest friends, Michelle Appleby. I love her SO much and I wanted to say bye to her before she went to study at High Sierra for the semester. If you don't go to my school, fyi the High Sierra program is basically a semester of outdoorsy greatness, like rockclimbing, hiking, snowboarding, wakeboarding, and who knows what else. It all takes place up by Yosemite. It sounds AMAZING and I'm so stoked for Michelle, and my other good friend Moriah, who get to go! So on Sunday I got to hangout with Michelle, Moriah, my friend Amy, and my friend Stephen. I love all of them very much. I brought my new longboard so I could ride it around before I leave for South Africa. Riding around was so fun. I also had dinner in the lovely caf (right....) with my friends. Even though the caf is kind of awful, it was a great time because I randomly saw so many friends in there! I really really like my school and all of the amazing people that go there. I'm so excited my brother decided this week that he wants to go to APU. He's a junior, so this decision could change but he's stoked about it and is going to try for the full ride scholarship there. Anyway, between the good people, the longboarding, the caf, the bbq in UP, and PJC, it was a perfect day.
MONDAY - Honestly, all I really did for the first half of the day was sleep in and do a laundry. But, in the evening I got crafty. I made my friend Taylor a picture frame :) I painted it and put lace and buttons on it. It turned out kind of cute/kind of like a third grader did it haha but I had fun. So random, so I gave it to her the next day and she was like "Oh my gosh I made you one too!" We had gone together last semester to buy some things at Michaels and we both bought some wooden frames to paint. We each decided on our own to paint one for each other without the other knowing :) I love mine. She put an owl on it, because I really like owls, and it is perched upon a branch made with old guitar strings. Um, could it be any more perfect?
TUESDAY - I woke up, went to gym with Gabbie, worked my butt off and now I am sore. It's a goooood feeling. After that I did some shopping for South Africa stuff, and after that, I went home to my lovely family, showered, ate good dinner, and then left to APU to see Taylor! We just talked there and watched American Idol - not usually one of my favorite shows but it was fun :) We exchanged pictures frames and then I headed back to my casa. This is where I currently sit and write this blog!
WEDNESDAY - Tomorrow's wednesday and I'm excited to go to Generate with Alexa! Generate's an awesome College church service on Wednesday nights at 7:30 at Crossroads in Corona. I love it, and I seriously recommend it to anyone wanting to find a good church. I have a hard time trusting churches and sticking to one. It's not something I'm proud of, but anyway, this a service I truly love and always get a good message out of. I like a lot, you should check it out!
THURSDAY - I'm going snowboarding! Also! Marisa flies in! Also! I may be going clubbing! Thursday has a lot going on so we'll see what I fit in. For sure I'm snowboarding, but gabbie wants me to go clubbing with her - I want to go too - but I also want to see Marisa when she gets here. We'll see!
FRIDAY - I'm driving up to a cabin in Big Bear with Marisa, Junior, his girlfriend, and Bobby. We're staying the night and going snowboarding the next day at Bear Mountain! I've never been and the boxes/rails/jumps/slopes are all supposed to be really great compared to Mt. High.
SATURDAY - snowboarding!!!
SUNDAY - My 20th birthday! Yup, I turn twenty. It's so weird to think about. It sounds too old. Ready or not, here it is! I'm excited though :) My family's all going to come over as a going away get-together, because I'm heading back to APU on Monday.
TUES through THURS - I have a couple meetings for South Africa and then I leave! Thursday at 2:30 in the morning, I board a bus from APU to Los Angeles. And away I go!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My first sad goodbye
It's thursday. Tomorrow is friday, which means I go home. And I won't officially be back at school til next september. I live close so I plan on coming back a few days before I go to South Africa to say bye to some of the people on campus, but there's some that are leaving to study abroad during Christmas break that I won't get to see.
Today Molly Ramirez walked into my room and just about broke my heart with her teary eyes.
Sherine came into my mod to say bye and all I wanted to do was snuggle with her on the couch. God Bless her on this leave of absence
Tonight I said bye to one of my great friends, Matt, who is awesome and I'll miss him so much.
Today was semi-sad. But still had good times with these friends too. Future days and goodbyes are approaching and I don't want them too.
Today Molly Ramirez walked into my room and just about broke my heart with her teary eyes.
Sherine came into my mod to say bye and all I wanted to do was snuggle with her on the couch. God Bless her on this leave of absence
Tonight I said bye to one of my great friends, Matt, who is awesome and I'll miss him so much.
Today was semi-sad. But still had good times with these friends too. Future days and goodbyes are approaching and I don't want them too.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
19 years 11 months
^ That was cool to see. I went to the dentist today and all my info popped up on the dentist's little computer screen. Guess what I saw....Bianca Portal, 19 years 11 months.
I'm rapidly approaching the Big 2 decade birthday! sweet :)
I'm rapidly approaching the Big 2 decade birthday! sweet :)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Cat got my tongue
I got asked the other day, as a friend and I killed time, waiting for Hanson to come on stage and grace us with their presence, "What has been the best day of your life?"
I had a hard time remembering what has been the best day of my life. I know I've had lots of great days! But it was hard to think of one right then. There have been so many times that I've come home and thought to myself, "I had to have just experienced the best day." Well, since the concert, I've come up with two big ones, that were pretty recent.
1. Meeting Stephen Christian - one of my role models. He's the lead singer of Anberlin, founder of a non-profit organization, great author, talented song writer, and all around good Christian role model who lives out what he talks.
2. Going to see the Price is Right with 14 of my good friends. The thing that made it MOST exciting was that Josh got onto the show! He won close to 6 thousand dollars! It was so fun and so amazing
Those are a couple big days that I don't want to ever forget...so here they are...in written form.
I had a hard time remembering what has been the best day of my life. I know I've had lots of great days! But it was hard to think of one right then. There have been so many times that I've come home and thought to myself, "I had to have just experienced the best day." Well, since the concert, I've come up with two big ones, that were pretty recent.
1. Meeting Stephen Christian - one of my role models. He's the lead singer of Anberlin, founder of a non-profit organization, great author, talented song writer, and all around good Christian role model who lives out what he talks.
2. Going to see the Price is Right with 14 of my good friends. The thing that made it MOST exciting was that Josh got onto the show! He won close to 6 thousand dollars! It was so fun and so amazing
Those are a couple big days that I don't want to ever forget...so here they are...in written form.
mer
wow I sound very negative in my last post. But, it was authentic. I'm feeling good now. I'm loving being home. I seriously have the most amazing family ever :) Nice night catching up with Alexa too.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
nauseous
sick and sick and sick of fighting with people.
there's no compassion in this world.
nope. i'm definitely not perfect.
but seriously.
there's no compassion in this world.
nope. i'm definitely not perfect.
but seriously.
exceptional sociology class today
Ever heard of the blue eyed/brown eyed experiment?
Please please please go rent and watch the video Blue Eyed if you haven't seen it.
Very good depiction and very moving.
But not in that temporarily moving way.
If you actually engage in watching this movie, my guess is that it will affect your daily actions and be relatively difficult to forget quickly.
Other points I remember from class today
-"When a person see's a large-framed black man walking at night, on the sidewalk in the oncoming direction, what does he or she tend to do? Walk to the other side of the street. When a large black man walking on the sidewalk at night happens to being walking behind a person, what does he or she tend to do? Constantly look over his/her shoulder and eventually walk to the other side of the street/go anywhere away from him." How the hell is a person supposed to feel like they're equal to everyone else and able to attain success like everyone else when they're constantly being demeaned? They're constantly FIGHTING. Would you want to fight against the institutions of this world, while concurrently working in other areas of your life like work, school, and relationships. They are doing double the work if not more. How can a person focus on being successful when they're constantly being looked at like they are lower, treated like they are lower, spoken to like they are lower. Eventually, it's going to sink in enough, and many will begin to believe these lies. These are the lies that Satan so powerfully feeds into us...and many times he uses people as vessels to do his malevolent work.
-"Would you ever want to switch lives with a black male and be treated the way society typically treats black males for the rest of your life?" My professor told us that he has asked this question to many of his classes over the years and not a single person over the years has stepped up and said, "Yes, I want to be treated like a black male." My professor pointed out, as is pointed out in the video as well, simply admitting that you would not want to be treated like a black man for the rest of your life, acknowledges that discrimination still exists. No matter how many times I hear people say that it doesn't anymore!
Thats just two I've been thinking about. And yes, I recognize that both of the examples I quoted happen to have been ones made concerning black men. This is not only a black/white issue. But, these were the two examples I wanted to get down on "paper" before I forgot. The movie though...that's what was incredibly compelling to me today. Go.Rent.It.
Please please please go rent and watch the video Blue Eyed if you haven't seen it.
Very good depiction and very moving.
But not in that temporarily moving way.
If you actually engage in watching this movie, my guess is that it will affect your daily actions and be relatively difficult to forget quickly.
Other points I remember from class today
-"When a person see's a large-framed black man walking at night, on the sidewalk in the oncoming direction, what does he or she tend to do? Walk to the other side of the street. When a large black man walking on the sidewalk at night happens to being walking behind a person, what does he or she tend to do? Constantly look over his/her shoulder and eventually walk to the other side of the street/go anywhere away from him." How the hell is a person supposed to feel like they're equal to everyone else and able to attain success like everyone else when they're constantly being demeaned? They're constantly FIGHTING. Would you want to fight against the institutions of this world, while concurrently working in other areas of your life like work, school, and relationships. They are doing double the work if not more. How can a person focus on being successful when they're constantly being looked at like they are lower, treated like they are lower, spoken to like they are lower. Eventually, it's going to sink in enough, and many will begin to believe these lies. These are the lies that Satan so powerfully feeds into us...and many times he uses people as vessels to do his malevolent work.
-"Would you ever want to switch lives with a black male and be treated the way society typically treats black males for the rest of your life?" My professor told us that he has asked this question to many of his classes over the years and not a single person over the years has stepped up and said, "Yes, I want to be treated like a black male." My professor pointed out, as is pointed out in the video as well, simply admitting that you would not want to be treated like a black man for the rest of your life, acknowledges that discrimination still exists. No matter how many times I hear people say that it doesn't anymore!
Thats just two I've been thinking about. And yes, I recognize that both of the examples I quoted happen to have been ones made concerning black men. This is not only a black/white issue. But, these were the two examples I wanted to get down on "paper" before I forgot. The movie though...that's what was incredibly compelling to me today. Go.Rent.It.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
High Low
So...I'm an Alpha Leader. And, today I asked my Alpha group to go around the circle and give one "high" point of their week, and one "low" point of their week. Everyone did just that, and then it came to me. When it was my turn to give my high low, I started with my low. However, my "low" wasn't much of a low. I talked about how I had pulled my first all-nighter of the year, but really, although it was for homework purposes, it was really fun! I stayed up with Moriah and Michelle Appleby, and I just love both of them. Earlier that evening I had worked on the Bible project with Kaitlin Schluter and Carrie Kunzmann, who I also think are just wonderful. We worked together as we drank Chocolate Chai! YES, chocolate chai! Amazing, right? If you don't think so, I bet you'd think otherwise after allowing the sweet concoction to hit your lips.
After sharing my "low" with my group. I had to talk about my "high" - which was definitely the most difficult part because I couldn't decide on just one! (I know, I'm really lucky, and I absolutely don't mean to brag - I'm just really happy right now). The first thing that came to mind was going home on Friday night and seeing my amazing family who I love love love spending time with. They are so amazing and I'm so incredibly thankful for them. Not to mention, being home in general just feels good! Saturday I slept in til 10:30 and stayed in my pajamas til I left at 6pm. Haha, you can judge me, I don't mind. I also watched 3 hours worth of tv shows, which sounds awful just as write this. I almost NEVER watch tv, but my family kind of watches it a lot. So, when I went home they had lots of new tivo-ed shows that they said I should watch. Suprisingly, I completely enjoyed it! Normally, I get so bored and restless just watching tv, but I was in the mood for a relaxing, lazy, day.
The night before that was really awesome too. I watched my little bro play football and he got TWO INTERCEPTIONS! Amazing, right? He did so good and was so happy :) I love to see him happy. I admire him so much. Especially for his strength in high school. I was just talking about him this morning to my friend Alexa. Her sister is a sophomore and has been recently trying to manipulate Alexa into covering for her to their parents so she can go out and drink. As I listened to Alexa wrestle with how to best handle the situation, I was so thankful for Brandon, even though I always am. We talked about how both Alexa and I had it easier in high school in regards to the pressure to party/drink/smoke/what have you. We weren't in that crowd that was involved with that stuff. I didn't have any friends who did that stuff until mainly my last year. I only had to deal with the pressure for like a year or so. I admire Brandon because he is accepted by that crowd, but still refuses to conform to their ways.
I also spent time with wonderful friends this week! I had a lovely one on one with Mr. Stephen Potts who I just happen to think is fantastic. We danced in the car to "Down" as we made our way over to Chipotle. I mean, how can you go wrong with Chipotle?! I also got to spend quality time with Alexa, as mentioned above. I appreciate her so much as a friend and it's great to still have a good relationship with someone from home. I love my APU friends (more and more each day!) but there's something cool about having a friend who has spent years with you, experienced a lot of the same things as you, witnessed a good amount of your life and you theirs, and has grown up in the same vicinity as yourself. I like it a lot :)
My week was wonderful. How was yours?
After sharing my "low" with my group. I had to talk about my "high" - which was definitely the most difficult part because I couldn't decide on just one! (I know, I'm really lucky, and I absolutely don't mean to brag - I'm just really happy right now). The first thing that came to mind was going home on Friday night and seeing my amazing family who I love love love spending time with. They are so amazing and I'm so incredibly thankful for them. Not to mention, being home in general just feels good! Saturday I slept in til 10:30 and stayed in my pajamas til I left at 6pm. Haha, you can judge me, I don't mind. I also watched 3 hours worth of tv shows, which sounds awful just as write this. I almost NEVER watch tv, but my family kind of watches it a lot. So, when I went home they had lots of new tivo-ed shows that they said I should watch. Suprisingly, I completely enjoyed it! Normally, I get so bored and restless just watching tv, but I was in the mood for a relaxing, lazy, day.
The night before that was really awesome too. I watched my little bro play football and he got TWO INTERCEPTIONS! Amazing, right? He did so good and was so happy :) I love to see him happy. I admire him so much. Especially for his strength in high school. I was just talking about him this morning to my friend Alexa. Her sister is a sophomore and has been recently trying to manipulate Alexa into covering for her to their parents so she can go out and drink. As I listened to Alexa wrestle with how to best handle the situation, I was so thankful for Brandon, even though I always am. We talked about how both Alexa and I had it easier in high school in regards to the pressure to party/drink/smoke/what have you. We weren't in that crowd that was involved with that stuff. I didn't have any friends who did that stuff until mainly my last year. I only had to deal with the pressure for like a year or so. I admire Brandon because he is accepted by that crowd, but still refuses to conform to their ways.
I also spent time with wonderful friends this week! I had a lovely one on one with Mr. Stephen Potts who I just happen to think is fantastic. We danced in the car to "Down" as we made our way over to Chipotle. I mean, how can you go wrong with Chipotle?! I also got to spend quality time with Alexa, as mentioned above. I appreciate her so much as a friend and it's great to still have a good relationship with someone from home. I love my APU friends (more and more each day!) but there's something cool about having a friend who has spent years with you, experienced a lot of the same things as you, witnessed a good amount of your life and you theirs, and has grown up in the same vicinity as yourself. I like it a lot :)
My week was wonderful. How was yours?
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