I got asked the other day, as a friend and I killed time, waiting for Hanson to come on stage and grace us with their presence, "What has been the best day of your life?"
I had a hard time remembering what has been the best day of my life. I know I've had lots of great days! But it was hard to think of one right then. There have been so many times that I've come home and thought to myself, "I had to have just experienced the best day." Well, since the concert, I've come up with two big ones, that were pretty recent.
1. Meeting Stephen Christian - one of my role models. He's the lead singer of Anberlin, founder of a non-profit organization, great author, talented song writer, and all around good Christian role model who lives out what he talks.
2. Going to see the Price is Right with 14 of my good friends. The thing that made it MOST exciting was that Josh got onto the show! He won close to 6 thousand dollars! It was so fun and so amazing
Those are a couple big days that I don't want to ever forget...so here they are...in written form.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
mer
wow I sound very negative in my last post. But, it was authentic. I'm feeling good now. I'm loving being home. I seriously have the most amazing family ever :) Nice night catching up with Alexa too.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
nauseous
sick and sick and sick of fighting with people.
there's no compassion in this world.
nope. i'm definitely not perfect.
but seriously.
there's no compassion in this world.
nope. i'm definitely not perfect.
but seriously.
exceptional sociology class today
Ever heard of the blue eyed/brown eyed experiment?
Please please please go rent and watch the video Blue Eyed if you haven't seen it.
Very good depiction and very moving.
But not in that temporarily moving way.
If you actually engage in watching this movie, my guess is that it will affect your daily actions and be relatively difficult to forget quickly.
Other points I remember from class today
-"When a person see's a large-framed black man walking at night, on the sidewalk in the oncoming direction, what does he or she tend to do? Walk to the other side of the street. When a large black man walking on the sidewalk at night happens to being walking behind a person, what does he or she tend to do? Constantly look over his/her shoulder and eventually walk to the other side of the street/go anywhere away from him." How the hell is a person supposed to feel like they're equal to everyone else and able to attain success like everyone else when they're constantly being demeaned? They're constantly FIGHTING. Would you want to fight against the institutions of this world, while concurrently working in other areas of your life like work, school, and relationships. They are doing double the work if not more. How can a person focus on being successful when they're constantly being looked at like they are lower, treated like they are lower, spoken to like they are lower. Eventually, it's going to sink in enough, and many will begin to believe these lies. These are the lies that Satan so powerfully feeds into us...and many times he uses people as vessels to do his malevolent work.
-"Would you ever want to switch lives with a black male and be treated the way society typically treats black males for the rest of your life?" My professor told us that he has asked this question to many of his classes over the years and not a single person over the years has stepped up and said, "Yes, I want to be treated like a black male." My professor pointed out, as is pointed out in the video as well, simply admitting that you would not want to be treated like a black man for the rest of your life, acknowledges that discrimination still exists. No matter how many times I hear people say that it doesn't anymore!
Thats just two I've been thinking about. And yes, I recognize that both of the examples I quoted happen to have been ones made concerning black men. This is not only a black/white issue. But, these were the two examples I wanted to get down on "paper" before I forgot. The movie though...that's what was incredibly compelling to me today. Go.Rent.It.
Please please please go rent and watch the video Blue Eyed if you haven't seen it.
Very good depiction and very moving.
But not in that temporarily moving way.
If you actually engage in watching this movie, my guess is that it will affect your daily actions and be relatively difficult to forget quickly.
Other points I remember from class today
-"When a person see's a large-framed black man walking at night, on the sidewalk in the oncoming direction, what does he or she tend to do? Walk to the other side of the street. When a large black man walking on the sidewalk at night happens to being walking behind a person, what does he or she tend to do? Constantly look over his/her shoulder and eventually walk to the other side of the street/go anywhere away from him." How the hell is a person supposed to feel like they're equal to everyone else and able to attain success like everyone else when they're constantly being demeaned? They're constantly FIGHTING. Would you want to fight against the institutions of this world, while concurrently working in other areas of your life like work, school, and relationships. They are doing double the work if not more. How can a person focus on being successful when they're constantly being looked at like they are lower, treated like they are lower, spoken to like they are lower. Eventually, it's going to sink in enough, and many will begin to believe these lies. These are the lies that Satan so powerfully feeds into us...and many times he uses people as vessels to do his malevolent work.
-"Would you ever want to switch lives with a black male and be treated the way society typically treats black males for the rest of your life?" My professor told us that he has asked this question to many of his classes over the years and not a single person over the years has stepped up and said, "Yes, I want to be treated like a black male." My professor pointed out, as is pointed out in the video as well, simply admitting that you would not want to be treated like a black man for the rest of your life, acknowledges that discrimination still exists. No matter how many times I hear people say that it doesn't anymore!
Thats just two I've been thinking about. And yes, I recognize that both of the examples I quoted happen to have been ones made concerning black men. This is not only a black/white issue. But, these were the two examples I wanted to get down on "paper" before I forgot. The movie though...that's what was incredibly compelling to me today. Go.Rent.It.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
High Low
So...I'm an Alpha Leader. And, today I asked my Alpha group to go around the circle and give one "high" point of their week, and one "low" point of their week. Everyone did just that, and then it came to me. When it was my turn to give my high low, I started with my low. However, my "low" wasn't much of a low. I talked about how I had pulled my first all-nighter of the year, but really, although it was for homework purposes, it was really fun! I stayed up with Moriah and Michelle Appleby, and I just love both of them. Earlier that evening I had worked on the Bible project with Kaitlin Schluter and Carrie Kunzmann, who I also think are just wonderful. We worked together as we drank Chocolate Chai! YES, chocolate chai! Amazing, right? If you don't think so, I bet you'd think otherwise after allowing the sweet concoction to hit your lips.
After sharing my "low" with my group. I had to talk about my "high" - which was definitely the most difficult part because I couldn't decide on just one! (I know, I'm really lucky, and I absolutely don't mean to brag - I'm just really happy right now). The first thing that came to mind was going home on Friday night and seeing my amazing family who I love love love spending time with. They are so amazing and I'm so incredibly thankful for them. Not to mention, being home in general just feels good! Saturday I slept in til 10:30 and stayed in my pajamas til I left at 6pm. Haha, you can judge me, I don't mind. I also watched 3 hours worth of tv shows, which sounds awful just as write this. I almost NEVER watch tv, but my family kind of watches it a lot. So, when I went home they had lots of new tivo-ed shows that they said I should watch. Suprisingly, I completely enjoyed it! Normally, I get so bored and restless just watching tv, but I was in the mood for a relaxing, lazy, day.
The night before that was really awesome too. I watched my little bro play football and he got TWO INTERCEPTIONS! Amazing, right? He did so good and was so happy :) I love to see him happy. I admire him so much. Especially for his strength in high school. I was just talking about him this morning to my friend Alexa. Her sister is a sophomore and has been recently trying to manipulate Alexa into covering for her to their parents so she can go out and drink. As I listened to Alexa wrestle with how to best handle the situation, I was so thankful for Brandon, even though I always am. We talked about how both Alexa and I had it easier in high school in regards to the pressure to party/drink/smoke/what have you. We weren't in that crowd that was involved with that stuff. I didn't have any friends who did that stuff until mainly my last year. I only had to deal with the pressure for like a year or so. I admire Brandon because he is accepted by that crowd, but still refuses to conform to their ways.
I also spent time with wonderful friends this week! I had a lovely one on one with Mr. Stephen Potts who I just happen to think is fantastic. We danced in the car to "Down" as we made our way over to Chipotle. I mean, how can you go wrong with Chipotle?! I also got to spend quality time with Alexa, as mentioned above. I appreciate her so much as a friend and it's great to still have a good relationship with someone from home. I love my APU friends (more and more each day!) but there's something cool about having a friend who has spent years with you, experienced a lot of the same things as you, witnessed a good amount of your life and you theirs, and has grown up in the same vicinity as yourself. I like it a lot :)
My week was wonderful. How was yours?
After sharing my "low" with my group. I had to talk about my "high" - which was definitely the most difficult part because I couldn't decide on just one! (I know, I'm really lucky, and I absolutely don't mean to brag - I'm just really happy right now). The first thing that came to mind was going home on Friday night and seeing my amazing family who I love love love spending time with. They are so amazing and I'm so incredibly thankful for them. Not to mention, being home in general just feels good! Saturday I slept in til 10:30 and stayed in my pajamas til I left at 6pm. Haha, you can judge me, I don't mind. I also watched 3 hours worth of tv shows, which sounds awful just as write this. I almost NEVER watch tv, but my family kind of watches it a lot. So, when I went home they had lots of new tivo-ed shows that they said I should watch. Suprisingly, I completely enjoyed it! Normally, I get so bored and restless just watching tv, but I was in the mood for a relaxing, lazy, day.
The night before that was really awesome too. I watched my little bro play football and he got TWO INTERCEPTIONS! Amazing, right? He did so good and was so happy :) I love to see him happy. I admire him so much. Especially for his strength in high school. I was just talking about him this morning to my friend Alexa. Her sister is a sophomore and has been recently trying to manipulate Alexa into covering for her to their parents so she can go out and drink. As I listened to Alexa wrestle with how to best handle the situation, I was so thankful for Brandon, even though I always am. We talked about how both Alexa and I had it easier in high school in regards to the pressure to party/drink/smoke/what have you. We weren't in that crowd that was involved with that stuff. I didn't have any friends who did that stuff until mainly my last year. I only had to deal with the pressure for like a year or so. I admire Brandon because he is accepted by that crowd, but still refuses to conform to their ways.
I also spent time with wonderful friends this week! I had a lovely one on one with Mr. Stephen Potts who I just happen to think is fantastic. We danced in the car to "Down" as we made our way over to Chipotle. I mean, how can you go wrong with Chipotle?! I also got to spend quality time with Alexa, as mentioned above. I appreciate her so much as a friend and it's great to still have a good relationship with someone from home. I love my APU friends (more and more each day!) but there's something cool about having a friend who has spent years with you, experienced a lot of the same things as you, witnessed a good amount of your life and you theirs, and has grown up in the same vicinity as yourself. I like it a lot :)
My week was wonderful. How was yours?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Veggie Stew
So I think my last post will make a lot more sense after I say this next statement. Or maybe this statement will make a lot more sense after reading my last post. I'm not really sure either way. Anyway...
I changed my major to Social Work!!!
Like my last post says, I've changed so much it's ridiculous.
If I were to pinpoint the start of the change, it would be the first day of Bridges. Bridges is a week of training for my position as an Alpha Leader. The whole trip is a secret - we knew we were going to San Francisco and that was about it. We were never told what type of training Bridges was going to be, and, even while on the trip, we were never told the next activity that was coming up or even what the current time was. No watches, cell phones, make-up, hair products, SHOWERS. Yup, it was quite a humbling experience, but humility is definitely something I could never have a complete understanding of. While on Bridges, we did something different everyday, but the premise of the trip was to work with the homeless population in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Wow. The way I viewed the district the first day of the trip, in comparison to the last, altered immensely. I can't say that all of a sudden, I have this perfect, grand, outlook on life and those who are less fortunate. I am absolutely still learning. My knowledge of what it is like to be a part of the homeless population, and of how to best serve the under-served is extremely limited, but I feel blessed to have been able to experience Bridges and my naive mind was taught so much.
Growing up, I was always taught that when I saw a homeless man on the side of the road, I was to walk quickly, not make eye contact, and answer "no" when asked if I had money to spare. This was basically my thinking up until the point of Bridges. I very much understand where my parents were coming from in teaching me these tactics. First of all, their main concern was to keep me out of harms way, not the man sitting on the street. They felt that this was the best method in protecting me. Secondly, this way of thinking is most common around where I have grown up. I would venture to say that it is most common in our western culture, but I'm no sociologist. It's incredible to think, however, that I had "such a big heart" for companies like Invisible Children and TOMS shoes, and I dreamed of traveling abroad to help the "poor people in other countries" when I wouldn't even acknowledge the poor who I saw here.
That is one thing I learned for sure - people just want to be acknowledged! Remind them that they too are important. They ARE valued in the community. Others are upset when they hurt and rejoice when they are happy. They are real HUMAN beings. How degrading is it that I simply looked the other way and walked on by homeless persons MULTIPLE times in my life, even when they were verbally calling out to me. NO ONE deserves to be ignored. I feel so ridiculous about this because I am so strongly an advocate for making others feel important. I absolutely can not stand when someone is degraded or made feel as if they anything less than sons and daughters made in God's image. I hate bullies. I hate stereotypes. I hate embarrassment. I even hate awkward moments: I hate seeing people in that uncomfortable state. But, who was I to say that only that only most people deserved to be respected. If you would have asked me, I would have vehemently insisted that ALL people are valuable and should be lifted up instead of torn down. It makes my heart hurt. BUT my actions, weren't expressing this outlook. I was forgetting AT LEAST ONE group of human beings, in my flawed mindset.
My thoughts are all a bunch of mish mosh. All that up there is a small portion of what I learned at Bridges. I became so much more comfortable around the homeless, when I used to be scared of them. I loved volunteering in San Francisco for the week. I loved it so much that I didn't want to stop working at those rehabilitation centers, dining halls, churches, etc. I wrestled a lot with whether or not I should change my major. It seemed so weird to give up journalism. I've always thought that I would be a journalist, in some form. I still may. I prayed a lot about whether or not I was making it my identity. I had to ask myself why it would be so hard to give up that major. There were many reasons, a few of them being: First-God gave me skills in writing; therefore, I need to make use of these skills! Second-What was I going to say to my Grandma, my journalism friends, my parents. The second reason was much less prominent in my weighing of options, but it did cross my mind and I can't pretend that it didn't. I also had to consider what it was that I was getting myself into, not simply what I was leaving behind. This was difficult one. I want to get into the career of helping people. What does that look like as a Christian? That question probably seems simplistic, but I'll explain a little of where I'm coming from.
I have struggled with the question, for a long time, of where the line is drawn between goodness and Christ following. Goodness meaning, in my eyes, compassion obedience and morality. I think that many times I look to goodness in how I live my life. I like to help people because I am compassionate and empathetic. I don't sneak out of the house and tell grand lies to my parents because I strive to be obedient. I don't get drunk, high, have sex outside of marriage, because I strive to have good morals. Where does God play into this? The compassion component of goodness confused me much in thinking about a career in community outreach social work. Or, at least, it has in the past - I now feel like I have a better grasp on the idea. An old youth pastor of mine, when faced with the statement "I wish there was no trouble and hurting," she simply replied, "One day there won't be!" That hit home. One day: we will be living in Heaven for eternity (I hope, unless I have gotten it all wrong in terms of what it means to follow Jesus), and there will be no pain or struggles. Why then am I concerned with the pain and struggles that people are experiencing now? Shouldn't I be attempting to prepare others for ETERNAL painless living, instead of fixing their pain now in this blip of existence? But then what? I disregard anyone who is in pain? I don't get it. I heard another pastor say that people are too caught up in the physical needs of others when really they should be preparing them for the kingdom - the other needs are temporary and unimportant. AND two nights ago I went to a church that I have recently started attending and this pastor yelled (direct quote)
"I'm SICK of hearing about Social Justice! Social justice for social justice's sake. That's CRAP. It's not even Biblical!"
Seriously??? I felt like asking him, what about a company like Invisible Children? Is what they're doing CRAP? They are not a Christian organization; they are pursuing social justice. Freeing child soldiers from an oppressor that they can't face for themselves doesn't seem like crap to me, but maybe I'm way off base. In reading the book of Luke a few nights ago, I found many verses in which the people were told by Christ and his disciples to care for eachother's physical needs. "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." -Luke 3:11. Reading this book reassured me of the fact that God would want me to care for his people. I feel called to help others because that is where my heart is. Perhaps it could even be considered a strength? I don't know if that's the right word for it, but I do think that writing is not the one and only strength God gave me to use in a future career. I am passionate about caring for others, in this lifetime, and in preparing them for their eternal life with Christ. I feel that both are important in God's eyes. That's what I've decided to devote my life to.
Wow this blog jumped all over the place but I'm going to stop here for now.
I changed my major to Social Work!!!
Like my last post says, I've changed so much it's ridiculous.
If I were to pinpoint the start of the change, it would be the first day of Bridges. Bridges is a week of training for my position as an Alpha Leader. The whole trip is a secret - we knew we were going to San Francisco and that was about it. We were never told what type of training Bridges was going to be, and, even while on the trip, we were never told the next activity that was coming up or even what the current time was. No watches, cell phones, make-up, hair products, SHOWERS. Yup, it was quite a humbling experience, but humility is definitely something I could never have a complete understanding of. While on Bridges, we did something different everyday, but the premise of the trip was to work with the homeless population in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Wow. The way I viewed the district the first day of the trip, in comparison to the last, altered immensely. I can't say that all of a sudden, I have this perfect, grand, outlook on life and those who are less fortunate. I am absolutely still learning. My knowledge of what it is like to be a part of the homeless population, and of how to best serve the under-served is extremely limited, but I feel blessed to have been able to experience Bridges and my naive mind was taught so much.
Growing up, I was always taught that when I saw a homeless man on the side of the road, I was to walk quickly, not make eye contact, and answer "no" when asked if I had money to spare. This was basically my thinking up until the point of Bridges. I very much understand where my parents were coming from in teaching me these tactics. First of all, their main concern was to keep me out of harms way, not the man sitting on the street. They felt that this was the best method in protecting me. Secondly, this way of thinking is most common around where I have grown up. I would venture to say that it is most common in our western culture, but I'm no sociologist. It's incredible to think, however, that I had "such a big heart" for companies like Invisible Children and TOMS shoes, and I dreamed of traveling abroad to help the "poor people in other countries" when I wouldn't even acknowledge the poor who I saw here.
That is one thing I learned for sure - people just want to be acknowledged! Remind them that they too are important. They ARE valued in the community. Others are upset when they hurt and rejoice when they are happy. They are real HUMAN beings. How degrading is it that I simply looked the other way and walked on by homeless persons MULTIPLE times in my life, even when they were verbally calling out to me. NO ONE deserves to be ignored. I feel so ridiculous about this because I am so strongly an advocate for making others feel important. I absolutely can not stand when someone is degraded or made feel as if they anything less than sons and daughters made in God's image. I hate bullies. I hate stereotypes. I hate embarrassment. I even hate awkward moments: I hate seeing people in that uncomfortable state. But, who was I to say that only that only most people deserved to be respected. If you would have asked me, I would have vehemently insisted that ALL people are valuable and should be lifted up instead of torn down. It makes my heart hurt. BUT my actions, weren't expressing this outlook. I was forgetting AT LEAST ONE group of human beings, in my flawed mindset.
My thoughts are all a bunch of mish mosh. All that up there is a small portion of what I learned at Bridges. I became so much more comfortable around the homeless, when I used to be scared of them. I loved volunteering in San Francisco for the week. I loved it so much that I didn't want to stop working at those rehabilitation centers, dining halls, churches, etc. I wrestled a lot with whether or not I should change my major. It seemed so weird to give up journalism. I've always thought that I would be a journalist, in some form. I still may. I prayed a lot about whether or not I was making it my identity. I had to ask myself why it would be so hard to give up that major. There were many reasons, a few of them being: First-God gave me skills in writing; therefore, I need to make use of these skills! Second-What was I going to say to my Grandma, my journalism friends, my parents. The second reason was much less prominent in my weighing of options, but it did cross my mind and I can't pretend that it didn't. I also had to consider what it was that I was getting myself into, not simply what I was leaving behind. This was difficult one. I want to get into the career of helping people. What does that look like as a Christian? That question probably seems simplistic, but I'll explain a little of where I'm coming from.
I have struggled with the question, for a long time, of where the line is drawn between goodness and Christ following. Goodness meaning, in my eyes, compassion obedience and morality. I think that many times I look to goodness in how I live my life. I like to help people because I am compassionate and empathetic. I don't sneak out of the house and tell grand lies to my parents because I strive to be obedient. I don't get drunk, high, have sex outside of marriage, because I strive to have good morals. Where does God play into this? The compassion component of goodness confused me much in thinking about a career in community outreach social work. Or, at least, it has in the past - I now feel like I have a better grasp on the idea. An old youth pastor of mine, when faced with the statement "I wish there was no trouble and hurting," she simply replied, "One day there won't be!" That hit home. One day: we will be living in Heaven for eternity (I hope, unless I have gotten it all wrong in terms of what it means to follow Jesus), and there will be no pain or struggles. Why then am I concerned with the pain and struggles that people are experiencing now? Shouldn't I be attempting to prepare others for ETERNAL painless living, instead of fixing their pain now in this blip of existence? But then what? I disregard anyone who is in pain? I don't get it. I heard another pastor say that people are too caught up in the physical needs of others when really they should be preparing them for the kingdom - the other needs are temporary and unimportant. AND two nights ago I went to a church that I have recently started attending and this pastor yelled (direct quote)
"I'm SICK of hearing about Social Justice! Social justice for social justice's sake. That's CRAP. It's not even Biblical!"
Seriously??? I felt like asking him, what about a company like Invisible Children? Is what they're doing CRAP? They are not a Christian organization; they are pursuing social justice. Freeing child soldiers from an oppressor that they can't face for themselves doesn't seem like crap to me, but maybe I'm way off base. In reading the book of Luke a few nights ago, I found many verses in which the people were told by Christ and his disciples to care for eachother's physical needs. "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." -Luke 3:11. Reading this book reassured me of the fact that God would want me to care for his people. I feel called to help others because that is where my heart is. Perhaps it could even be considered a strength? I don't know if that's the right word for it, but I do think that writing is not the one and only strength God gave me to use in a future career. I am passionate about caring for others, in this lifetime, and in preparing them for their eternal life with Christ. I feel that both are important in God's eyes. That's what I've decided to devote my life to.
Wow this blog jumped all over the place but I'm going to stop here for now.
Monday, September 7, 2009
G A P
Wow. I've changed so much, it's ridiculous. Gosh I have so much to write about. So much going on in my head. So much I could share. Will share. And want to share. I dislike that it's one in the morning and I've been going all day and am exhausted. Things i need to talk about though (hopefully tomorrow): BRIDGES, homeless woman in front of cvs, my alphies, slowly coming out of my shell, contentment, homosexuality, meeting new people. Ok, those are mostly so I can look back and remember what I wanted to write about. Wow wow wow the Big Guy is doing great things in my life.
oh! and P.S. have I mentioned that I'm going to South Africa next semester?? or that I went SKY DIVING? pretty cool experiences that require some attention in blog form, if you ask me.
oh! and P.S. have I mentioned that I'm going to South Africa next semester?? or that I went SKY DIVING? pretty cool experiences that require some attention in blog form, if you ask me.
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