umm...

Super good day.

It's one of those days that's so great that you'd rather just keep the details to yourself instead of telling someone else, only for the details to come out sounding trivial or meaningless. No, I'll keep today to myself :) But, I will say this. God always has a plan, through and through. I like the times in my life most when I let go of the reigns and let The Big Man take over. It's always a smarter decision on my part. Too bad I'm not always smart enough to do so.

On a different note: Something I've come to realize is that I value personal relationships and people more than academics. I try hard all throughout the year, which in turn results in good grades, but, more often than not, if I have the option of spending an extra hour studying something that i've already spent time on or spending an hour of time with a close friend, I'll choose friend. This probably doesn't sound like much of a revolation - 19 year old girl picks hanging out with friends instead of studying. That's not it at all. I just like a balance. I've just decided not to kill myself to get immaculate grades and neglect all the awesome people around me that I'm blessed to be doing life with. I don't want to look back on college and think "Well, I ended up with an A- in that class instead of a B+ but i didn't have much of a college experience." I know that my school is expensive, and it would be absolutely ridiculous for me to throw away the type of education i'm recieving by slacking off and not trying. Trust me though, I would NOT be able to live with myself if I did. It's not in my nature. I can barely handle getting B's. But that's what I'm letting go of. That perfection. I'm okay with a B every once in a while because I'm learning just as much from the people outside of the classroom, as I am from the textbooks and lectures inside. That's all :)

For the record...

all of a sudden I enjoy going to bed at a reasonable hour. Sometimes 1/1:30...other times even 11/11:30! I guess that's a good change. My body will thank me many years from now.

An update

Likes
-late night chats on the futon with shelby and/or kristen
-the swap meet
-kristen's APU sweatshirt that I'm borrowing
-a new-ish crush (just for fun)
-getting dressed up
-"Home" by Phil Wickham
-my comfy TOMS
-6 1/2 hours of sleep at night
-vanilla tea

Dislikes
-the bump on my lip piercing
-laundry and no quarters
-chemistry
-philosophy
-too late nights

compliments

It's funny how much a compliment can lift your spirits.

For some reason I always remember my favorite compliment. It wasn't about my personality, so maybe that makes it kind of superficial, but I didn't really take it that way. Once, I had someone tell me I had an "electric smile." I loved that compliment because it was genuine, and because I liked what it represented. I love to smile at people, and it's great when they smile back. I like being able to give a small bit of joy to someone else, especially if I don't know them. Plus, electric is such a great adjective! It has so much pizzazz behind it! and energy! I'm an English nerd, and I like diction very much.

Tonight I got a different compliment. It was simple, but it still put a smile on my face. I was told that I looked "lovely." I feel like lovely is such a better word than any of the ones I usually hear boys use. It was true that I had put effort into how I looked that evening, and I found it so sweet of this person to recognize that, and pay me a kind compliment.

That's it. I hope you remember to smile and pay a nice compliment to others as much as you can, whether it be to people you don't know at all, or people whom you truly care about. Either way, it's worth that miniscule amount of energy to make someone feel nice for a minute :)

2:23 am

So it 2:23 am, which means technically its the 23rd, but we'll pretend it's the 22nd and i'm sharing with you, on the day of, that I got a mod! We're super stoked. We were hoping for some other ones, but i know that we were placed here for a reason, and I am beyond excited. Also, I picked classes for the semester. I had planned on taking 16 units but looks like it's going to be 13, considering I only got three of the six classes I had originally intended on signing up for. Honestly, it's probably a blessing. I know i will be busy with alpha and a job next semester, so maybe this is God's way of not having me overwhelm myself. I'm happy about that :) I love knowing that God always has the bigger picture in mind. Sweet.

Ever feel invisible?

I'm sure you have at some point. I think it's something most people struggle with every once in a while, if not more often. I know this much to be true (and it was confirmed, once again tonight)--I don't like being in large groups because I feel invisible. I'm not the loudest, I'm not the funniest, and I don't have the most acquaintances. So, these situations are always just awkward and all of sudden give me low self esteem, when just minutes before I was feeling confident and happy. I found it so weird that I had such a great day today with four true friends, spending hours together, walking around campus, talking, laughing, and listening to music, but the second a got around a group of people who meant nothing to me, I felt unhappy. I cherish my close friends so much. But, then I get around people who are outside of my group of friends, and, all of a sudden, I feel like I'm not enough. The others in the group don't say anything to make me feel this way, and they don't have to. Maybe that's the problem? It's when I get around these groups, that I start to think, "Why don't I have as many friends as so-and-so?" "How is it that there are so many people around, but I'm hardly talking to anyone?" Honestly I usually know the answers to my questions. It takes work to keep us social acquaintances and relationships. I've had friends who spend hours a day on facebook, trying to write on a hundred different people's walls, so they can have a hundred different friends, and have built a hundred different relationships out of thin air. I can't do this. It's absolutely not my personality. It has to be real. And, most times, I'm ok with that. Actually, I like that. I like my close relationships and i like knowing that there is a small group of friends who truly care for me and I them. I'm human though, and some days, the pressures of being a 19-year-old girl get to me. Tonight was one of those times.

Some good stuff :)

Today has been fabulous. I woke up with plenty of time to shower, do my hair, put on some make-up, and get dressed. Lack of stress in the morning is always a nice thing and kind of a rarity for me (considering I tend to oversleep...oops!). So, I left in a good mood, happy and ready for class. But, once I got there, I found out class was cancelled! Sweet! I wasn't going to complain. 

I was already on west campus and now had a whole 1hr and 40 minutes until my next class. I chose to not go back to my dorm, but instead made my way to Heritage court to have a good breakfast. Best cranberry muffin ever! I sat, ate, drank, listened to my ipod and just relaxed there for a while. I really wanted to go outside, so after sufficient time in Heritage, I went and sat outside, listened to some more music, soaked up the sun, and people watched (definitely one of my favorite activities). People are just so funny. Then I spent some time in the computer lab cruising the internet and looking for t-shirts online for Taylor and I to use for The Rescue. It's this saturday and I'm incredibly excited for it. I'll talk about that more about it in a future post. I eventually went to my philosophy class after a bit more time relaxing outside. I finally have learned to like my philosophy class. I could not stand the class beforehand: the prof, the material, the teaching method. I don't know if I've changed or my prof has. Either way, I enjoy it, and am on good terms with the teacher. Thanks God :) 

Done with classes for the day now (just had that one philosophy class) and am back in my dorm. I'm kind of excited because I got a super good deal on a bathing suit I've liked for a while...40% off today and tomorrow only! So, I just made probably my second online purchase ever. I never shop online. I love a good deal though! Now I'm waiting, anxious for 6:00 when Danica gets out of class, so we can look for flights to Chicago! We're buying our tickets today to go see Maddie! I can NOT wait to see the city. It'll be a first!

Reasons why I'm excited today:

1. Cancelled chemistry class

2. Steamy 90 degree weather :)

3. 40% off bathing suit

4. Buying a flight ticket to Chicago today!

5. Registering for my class schedule tomorrow!

6. Picking housing tomorrow!!!

That's right! the day is HERE. Finally going to pick out our mod tomorrow (at least we hope it's a mod). I'll post later how we end up doing in the housing department. Wish us luck!