So...I'm an Alpha Leader. And, today I asked my Alpha group to go around the circle and give one "high" point of their week, and one "low" point of their week. Everyone did just that, and then it came to me. When it was my turn to give my high low, I started with my low. However, my "low" wasn't much of a low. I talked about how I had pulled my first all-nighter of the year, but really, although it was for homework purposes, it was really fun! I stayed up with Moriah and Michelle Appleby, and I just love both of them. Earlier that evening I had worked on the Bible project with Kaitlin Schluter and Carrie Kunzmann, who I also think are just wonderful. We worked together as we drank Chocolate Chai! YES, chocolate chai! Amazing, right? If you don't think so, I bet you'd think otherwise after allowing the sweet concoction to hit your lips.
After sharing my "low" with my group. I had to talk about my "high" - which was definitely the most difficult part because I couldn't decide on just one! (I know, I'm really lucky, and I absolutely don't mean to brag - I'm just really happy right now). The first thing that came to mind was going home on Friday night and seeing my amazing family who I love love love spending time with. They are so amazing and I'm so incredibly thankful for them. Not to mention, being home in general just feels good! Saturday I slept in til 10:30 and stayed in my pajamas til I left at 6pm. Haha, you can judge me, I don't mind. I also watched 3 hours worth of tv shows, which sounds awful just as write this. I almost NEVER watch tv, but my family kind of watches it a lot. So, when I went home they had lots of new tivo-ed shows that they said I should watch. Suprisingly, I completely enjoyed it! Normally, I get so bored and restless just watching tv, but I was in the mood for a relaxing, lazy, day.
The night before that was really awesome too. I watched my little bro play football and he got TWO INTERCEPTIONS! Amazing, right? He did so good and was so happy :) I love to see him happy. I admire him so much. Especially for his strength in high school. I was just talking about him this morning to my friend Alexa. Her sister is a sophomore and has been recently trying to manipulate Alexa into covering for her to their parents so she can go out and drink. As I listened to Alexa wrestle with how to best handle the situation, I was so thankful for Brandon, even though I always am. We talked about how both Alexa and I had it easier in high school in regards to the pressure to party/drink/smoke/what have you. We weren't in that crowd that was involved with that stuff. I didn't have any friends who did that stuff until mainly my last year. I only had to deal with the pressure for like a year or so. I admire Brandon because he is accepted by that crowd, but still refuses to conform to their ways.
I also spent time with wonderful friends this week! I had a lovely one on one with Mr. Stephen Potts who I just happen to think is fantastic. We danced in the car to "Down" as we made our way over to Chipotle. I mean, how can you go wrong with Chipotle?! I also got to spend quality time with Alexa, as mentioned above. I appreciate her so much as a friend and it's great to still have a good relationship with someone from home. I love my APU friends (more and more each day!) but there's something cool about having a friend who has spent years with you, experienced a lot of the same things as you, witnessed a good amount of your life and you theirs, and has grown up in the same vicinity as yourself. I like it a lot :)
My week was wonderful. How was yours?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Veggie Stew
So I think my last post will make a lot more sense after I say this next statement. Or maybe this statement will make a lot more sense after reading my last post. I'm not really sure either way. Anyway...
I changed my major to Social Work!!!
Like my last post says, I've changed so much it's ridiculous.
If I were to pinpoint the start of the change, it would be the first day of Bridges. Bridges is a week of training for my position as an Alpha Leader. The whole trip is a secret - we knew we were going to San Francisco and that was about it. We were never told what type of training Bridges was going to be, and, even while on the trip, we were never told the next activity that was coming up or even what the current time was. No watches, cell phones, make-up, hair products, SHOWERS. Yup, it was quite a humbling experience, but humility is definitely something I could never have a complete understanding of. While on Bridges, we did something different everyday, but the premise of the trip was to work with the homeless population in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Wow. The way I viewed the district the first day of the trip, in comparison to the last, altered immensely. I can't say that all of a sudden, I have this perfect, grand, outlook on life and those who are less fortunate. I am absolutely still learning. My knowledge of what it is like to be a part of the homeless population, and of how to best serve the under-served is extremely limited, but I feel blessed to have been able to experience Bridges and my naive mind was taught so much.
Growing up, I was always taught that when I saw a homeless man on the side of the road, I was to walk quickly, not make eye contact, and answer "no" when asked if I had money to spare. This was basically my thinking up until the point of Bridges. I very much understand where my parents were coming from in teaching me these tactics. First of all, their main concern was to keep me out of harms way, not the man sitting on the street. They felt that this was the best method in protecting me. Secondly, this way of thinking is most common around where I have grown up. I would venture to say that it is most common in our western culture, but I'm no sociologist. It's incredible to think, however, that I had "such a big heart" for companies like Invisible Children and TOMS shoes, and I dreamed of traveling abroad to help the "poor people in other countries" when I wouldn't even acknowledge the poor who I saw here.
That is one thing I learned for sure - people just want to be acknowledged! Remind them that they too are important. They ARE valued in the community. Others are upset when they hurt and rejoice when they are happy. They are real HUMAN beings. How degrading is it that I simply looked the other way and walked on by homeless persons MULTIPLE times in my life, even when they were verbally calling out to me. NO ONE deserves to be ignored. I feel so ridiculous about this because I am so strongly an advocate for making others feel important. I absolutely can not stand when someone is degraded or made feel as if they anything less than sons and daughters made in God's image. I hate bullies. I hate stereotypes. I hate embarrassment. I even hate awkward moments: I hate seeing people in that uncomfortable state. But, who was I to say that only that only most people deserved to be respected. If you would have asked me, I would have vehemently insisted that ALL people are valuable and should be lifted up instead of torn down. It makes my heart hurt. BUT my actions, weren't expressing this outlook. I was forgetting AT LEAST ONE group of human beings, in my flawed mindset.
My thoughts are all a bunch of mish mosh. All that up there is a small portion of what I learned at Bridges. I became so much more comfortable around the homeless, when I used to be scared of them. I loved volunteering in San Francisco for the week. I loved it so much that I didn't want to stop working at those rehabilitation centers, dining halls, churches, etc. I wrestled a lot with whether or not I should change my major. It seemed so weird to give up journalism. I've always thought that I would be a journalist, in some form. I still may. I prayed a lot about whether or not I was making it my identity. I had to ask myself why it would be so hard to give up that major. There were many reasons, a few of them being: First-God gave me skills in writing; therefore, I need to make use of these skills! Second-What was I going to say to my Grandma, my journalism friends, my parents. The second reason was much less prominent in my weighing of options, but it did cross my mind and I can't pretend that it didn't. I also had to consider what it was that I was getting myself into, not simply what I was leaving behind. This was difficult one. I want to get into the career of helping people. What does that look like as a Christian? That question probably seems simplistic, but I'll explain a little of where I'm coming from.
I have struggled with the question, for a long time, of where the line is drawn between goodness and Christ following. Goodness meaning, in my eyes, compassion obedience and morality. I think that many times I look to goodness in how I live my life. I like to help people because I am compassionate and empathetic. I don't sneak out of the house and tell grand lies to my parents because I strive to be obedient. I don't get drunk, high, have sex outside of marriage, because I strive to have good morals. Where does God play into this? The compassion component of goodness confused me much in thinking about a career in community outreach social work. Or, at least, it has in the past - I now feel like I have a better grasp on the idea. An old youth pastor of mine, when faced with the statement "I wish there was no trouble and hurting," she simply replied, "One day there won't be!" That hit home. One day: we will be living in Heaven for eternity (I hope, unless I have gotten it all wrong in terms of what it means to follow Jesus), and there will be no pain or struggles. Why then am I concerned with the pain and struggles that people are experiencing now? Shouldn't I be attempting to prepare others for ETERNAL painless living, instead of fixing their pain now in this blip of existence? But then what? I disregard anyone who is in pain? I don't get it. I heard another pastor say that people are too caught up in the physical needs of others when really they should be preparing them for the kingdom - the other needs are temporary and unimportant. AND two nights ago I went to a church that I have recently started attending and this pastor yelled (direct quote)
"I'm SICK of hearing about Social Justice! Social justice for social justice's sake. That's CRAP. It's not even Biblical!"
Seriously??? I felt like asking him, what about a company like Invisible Children? Is what they're doing CRAP? They are not a Christian organization; they are pursuing social justice. Freeing child soldiers from an oppressor that they can't face for themselves doesn't seem like crap to me, but maybe I'm way off base. In reading the book of Luke a few nights ago, I found many verses in which the people were told by Christ and his disciples to care for eachother's physical needs. "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." -Luke 3:11. Reading this book reassured me of the fact that God would want me to care for his people. I feel called to help others because that is where my heart is. Perhaps it could even be considered a strength? I don't know if that's the right word for it, but I do think that writing is not the one and only strength God gave me to use in a future career. I am passionate about caring for others, in this lifetime, and in preparing them for their eternal life with Christ. I feel that both are important in God's eyes. That's what I've decided to devote my life to.
Wow this blog jumped all over the place but I'm going to stop here for now.
I changed my major to Social Work!!!
Like my last post says, I've changed so much it's ridiculous.
If I were to pinpoint the start of the change, it would be the first day of Bridges. Bridges is a week of training for my position as an Alpha Leader. The whole trip is a secret - we knew we were going to San Francisco and that was about it. We were never told what type of training Bridges was going to be, and, even while on the trip, we were never told the next activity that was coming up or even what the current time was. No watches, cell phones, make-up, hair products, SHOWERS. Yup, it was quite a humbling experience, but humility is definitely something I could never have a complete understanding of. While on Bridges, we did something different everyday, but the premise of the trip was to work with the homeless population in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. Wow. The way I viewed the district the first day of the trip, in comparison to the last, altered immensely. I can't say that all of a sudden, I have this perfect, grand, outlook on life and those who are less fortunate. I am absolutely still learning. My knowledge of what it is like to be a part of the homeless population, and of how to best serve the under-served is extremely limited, but I feel blessed to have been able to experience Bridges and my naive mind was taught so much.
Growing up, I was always taught that when I saw a homeless man on the side of the road, I was to walk quickly, not make eye contact, and answer "no" when asked if I had money to spare. This was basically my thinking up until the point of Bridges. I very much understand where my parents were coming from in teaching me these tactics. First of all, their main concern was to keep me out of harms way, not the man sitting on the street. They felt that this was the best method in protecting me. Secondly, this way of thinking is most common around where I have grown up. I would venture to say that it is most common in our western culture, but I'm no sociologist. It's incredible to think, however, that I had "such a big heart" for companies like Invisible Children and TOMS shoes, and I dreamed of traveling abroad to help the "poor people in other countries" when I wouldn't even acknowledge the poor who I saw here.
That is one thing I learned for sure - people just want to be acknowledged! Remind them that they too are important. They ARE valued in the community. Others are upset when they hurt and rejoice when they are happy. They are real HUMAN beings. How degrading is it that I simply looked the other way and walked on by homeless persons MULTIPLE times in my life, even when they were verbally calling out to me. NO ONE deserves to be ignored. I feel so ridiculous about this because I am so strongly an advocate for making others feel important. I absolutely can not stand when someone is degraded or made feel as if they anything less than sons and daughters made in God's image. I hate bullies. I hate stereotypes. I hate embarrassment. I even hate awkward moments: I hate seeing people in that uncomfortable state. But, who was I to say that only that only most people deserved to be respected. If you would have asked me, I would have vehemently insisted that ALL people are valuable and should be lifted up instead of torn down. It makes my heart hurt. BUT my actions, weren't expressing this outlook. I was forgetting AT LEAST ONE group of human beings, in my flawed mindset.
My thoughts are all a bunch of mish mosh. All that up there is a small portion of what I learned at Bridges. I became so much more comfortable around the homeless, when I used to be scared of them. I loved volunteering in San Francisco for the week. I loved it so much that I didn't want to stop working at those rehabilitation centers, dining halls, churches, etc. I wrestled a lot with whether or not I should change my major. It seemed so weird to give up journalism. I've always thought that I would be a journalist, in some form. I still may. I prayed a lot about whether or not I was making it my identity. I had to ask myself why it would be so hard to give up that major. There were many reasons, a few of them being: First-God gave me skills in writing; therefore, I need to make use of these skills! Second-What was I going to say to my Grandma, my journalism friends, my parents. The second reason was much less prominent in my weighing of options, but it did cross my mind and I can't pretend that it didn't. I also had to consider what it was that I was getting myself into, not simply what I was leaving behind. This was difficult one. I want to get into the career of helping people. What does that look like as a Christian? That question probably seems simplistic, but I'll explain a little of where I'm coming from.
I have struggled with the question, for a long time, of where the line is drawn between goodness and Christ following. Goodness meaning, in my eyes, compassion obedience and morality. I think that many times I look to goodness in how I live my life. I like to help people because I am compassionate and empathetic. I don't sneak out of the house and tell grand lies to my parents because I strive to be obedient. I don't get drunk, high, have sex outside of marriage, because I strive to have good morals. Where does God play into this? The compassion component of goodness confused me much in thinking about a career in community outreach social work. Or, at least, it has in the past - I now feel like I have a better grasp on the idea. An old youth pastor of mine, when faced with the statement "I wish there was no trouble and hurting," she simply replied, "One day there won't be!" That hit home. One day: we will be living in Heaven for eternity (I hope, unless I have gotten it all wrong in terms of what it means to follow Jesus), and there will be no pain or struggles. Why then am I concerned with the pain and struggles that people are experiencing now? Shouldn't I be attempting to prepare others for ETERNAL painless living, instead of fixing their pain now in this blip of existence? But then what? I disregard anyone who is in pain? I don't get it. I heard another pastor say that people are too caught up in the physical needs of others when really they should be preparing them for the kingdom - the other needs are temporary and unimportant. AND two nights ago I went to a church that I have recently started attending and this pastor yelled (direct quote)
"I'm SICK of hearing about Social Justice! Social justice for social justice's sake. That's CRAP. It's not even Biblical!"
Seriously??? I felt like asking him, what about a company like Invisible Children? Is what they're doing CRAP? They are not a Christian organization; they are pursuing social justice. Freeing child soldiers from an oppressor that they can't face for themselves doesn't seem like crap to me, but maybe I'm way off base. In reading the book of Luke a few nights ago, I found many verses in which the people were told by Christ and his disciples to care for eachother's physical needs. "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." -Luke 3:11. Reading this book reassured me of the fact that God would want me to care for his people. I feel called to help others because that is where my heart is. Perhaps it could even be considered a strength? I don't know if that's the right word for it, but I do think that writing is not the one and only strength God gave me to use in a future career. I am passionate about caring for others, in this lifetime, and in preparing them for their eternal life with Christ. I feel that both are important in God's eyes. That's what I've decided to devote my life to.
Wow this blog jumped all over the place but I'm going to stop here for now.
Monday, September 7, 2009
G A P
Wow. I've changed so much, it's ridiculous. Gosh I have so much to write about. So much going on in my head. So much I could share. Will share. And want to share. I dislike that it's one in the morning and I've been going all day and am exhausted. Things i need to talk about though (hopefully tomorrow): BRIDGES, homeless woman in front of cvs, my alphies, slowly coming out of my shell, contentment, homosexuality, meeting new people. Ok, those are mostly so I can look back and remember what I wanted to write about. Wow wow wow the Big Guy is doing great things in my life.
oh! and P.S. have I mentioned that I'm going to South Africa next semester?? or that I went SKY DIVING? pretty cool experiences that require some attention in blog form, if you ask me.
oh! and P.S. have I mentioned that I'm going to South Africa next semester?? or that I went SKY DIVING? pretty cool experiences that require some attention in blog form, if you ask me.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
busy "bee"
I feel like now, even more than during the school year, I should be blogging. It is summer, and I am doing cool things with all the free time, but that's just it. I'm having a lot of fun this summer and am not really taking time to write about all that is occupying my time or thoughts. I'm going to allow myself some leniency for now. Once I start school up again, I can guarantee I'll feel more of an urge to sit down and type out all the thoughts going on in my head. They still exist; they're just not in written form for the time being :] Plus, I need to keep up my writing skills. How can I expect to be a journalist if I don't practice writing? Okay then, more practicing to come soon.
off to enjoy more of summer!
Hope you're doing the same, whoever you are who is reading this.
off to enjoy more of summer!
Hope you're doing the same, whoever you are who is reading this.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
so very true
"Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis
Thursday, June 11, 2009
prayer request
make that two prayer requests.
-I ask for a hunger for scripture
-and a desire to constantly be yearning to deepen our relationship, Lord.
If anyone else reads this and wouldn't mind slipping me into their prayers tonight too, that'd be nice.
-I ask for a hunger for scripture
-and a desire to constantly be yearning to deepen our relationship, Lord.
If anyone else reads this and wouldn't mind slipping me into their prayers tonight too, that'd be nice.
Friday, May 29, 2009
You'll probably think i'm weird for saying this
but i don't care.
I wish, at times, that I were a boy.
Really, there are so many great things about being a female, but a major aspect of what I dont like about it, is the "safety." I'm sure I'm generalizing, so just bear with me for a minute, but what would it be like to walk around at night, on your own, without worrying about safety. I was reading a friends blog, and he wrote about an awesome experience where he was in a foreign country, went wandering about at night, exploring, and ran into a homeless man, whom he then engaged in an amazing conversation until the late hours of the night. I wish. Maybe I could do something like that, but since I have been young, I have been instilled with the idea that it is unsafe for women to go walking about at night, or to talk to strangers, especially random men. Who knows what stronger people may be out there wanting to harm you? Maybe I could be strong, if I worked at it. I've always noticed this difference between boys and girls. I grew up with one brother, and sure, there are other aspects that are factored into individually parenting us, such as first born/second born, and the difference in our personalities, but I don't think the aspect of gender can be overlooked. I can't say that I often, if ever, resented that my brother got more freedom, at an earlier age, than I did; I simply noticed it.
If you know me, then you already know that I love to travel and am passionate about global relief. I want the opportunity to go into foreign countries, explore, meet new, different, amazing people, build relationships, and ultimately do what I can to aid in these countries. Is is possible that I'll allow fear to inhibit me from doing what I feel called to do? Would I choose to not go to a foreign country on my own, because I feel I won't be safe on my own? I'm not going to rely on others to go with me, I'm just going to rely on God. I am making a promise to myself to not allow a fear of safety hinder me from traveling abroad and going on adventures. This is what I feel called to do and I'll make it work, along with a lot of help from my omnipotent Father.
I wish, at times, that I were a boy.
Really, there are so many great things about being a female, but a major aspect of what I dont like about it, is the "safety." I'm sure I'm generalizing, so just bear with me for a minute, but what would it be like to walk around at night, on your own, without worrying about safety. I was reading a friends blog, and he wrote about an awesome experience where he was in a foreign country, went wandering about at night, exploring, and ran into a homeless man, whom he then engaged in an amazing conversation until the late hours of the night. I wish. Maybe I could do something like that, but since I have been young, I have been instilled with the idea that it is unsafe for women to go walking about at night, or to talk to strangers, especially random men. Who knows what stronger people may be out there wanting to harm you? Maybe I could be strong, if I worked at it. I've always noticed this difference between boys and girls. I grew up with one brother, and sure, there are other aspects that are factored into individually parenting us, such as first born/second born, and the difference in our personalities, but I don't think the aspect of gender can be overlooked. I can't say that I often, if ever, resented that my brother got more freedom, at an earlier age, than I did; I simply noticed it.
If you know me, then you already know that I love to travel and am passionate about global relief. I want the opportunity to go into foreign countries, explore, meet new, different, amazing people, build relationships, and ultimately do what I can to aid in these countries. Is is possible that I'll allow fear to inhibit me from doing what I feel called to do? Would I choose to not go to a foreign country on my own, because I feel I won't be safe on my own? I'm not going to rely on others to go with me, I'm just going to rely on God. I am making a promise to myself to not allow a fear of safety hinder me from traveling abroad and going on adventures. This is what I feel called to do and I'll make it work, along with a lot of help from my omnipotent Father.
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