But what if it isn't true?

It's Valentine's Day. And I can't pretend that it's my favorite day of the 365. Every year, I see singles posting really triumphant empowering posts, celebrating their singlehood on this day. While they're meant to be encouraging, I think only about 50% of them are genuine. The other 50% are probably more in line with what I truly feel, which is that this is a very lonely and isolating holiday.

You see, I feel good about myself, my accomplishments, and my singlehood about 300 days out of the year. However, there is a definitely a few of those days, Valentine's included, where I feel really shitty about the way circumstances are.

Already a couple times today, I've read "uplifting" posts from well-meaning people, telling me that one day I will find my person. One day, the desires of my heart will be met and I will have a family of my own. But what if it isn't true? Who is to say that life will work out the way I want it to? I don't actually believe this.

Because life doesn't always happen the way you want it to. Sometimes we are met with hard things and have to face those fears. The fear that I will never have kids of my own, that I will often feel uncomfortable at plus one events, that I will never get to split expensive San Diego rent, and that ultimately I will go through life without someone choosing me as their forever.

I'm thankful today for my perfect job, my perfect friends, my perfect family, and this perfect city I live in. 300 days out of the year this all makes me really happy. But sometimes it feels like not enough. And there's a chance that it will always have to be.