to start

"I never quite understand what i think until i write it down..."

I remember writing about this quote on my first day of AP English. I cant remember who said it or if i have the wording exactly right, but either way, the concept resonated with me then and has never left me. Writing helps me make sense of things. In the end, I always have a clearer view of what I feel and what I think. The concept of personal blogs always puzzled me. Why would anybody document their day to day life for others to read? Who would actually care to read about what I think or do? Well after being inspired by some other blogs I've read recently, I decided to finally start my own. I don't mind if others do not read it, but i will write because it's what i enjoy. And, also, so that one day years from now, I'll be able to look back and see how I've grown up, the lessons I've learned, and how I've seen God move in my life. God works immensely in my life on a regular basis, and yet i fear that i allow his constant faithfulness to go unacknowledged. 

What an awesome time to start a blog. These past few days have been absolutely beautiful. Azusa's finally been blessed with a bit of rain, and i love it! It's my favorite weather ever. Friday, I absolutely couldn't resist, and i went for a bike ride in the rain. It was great! I came in to my dorm drenched and with clothes a much darker shade than they had been when i left for chapel that morning. But, i was happy as could be. All of this rain lately got me thinking about a song we sing in church called "happy day." Its one of my favorite songs, and there's a line in it that says "oh happy day, happy day, you've washed my sins away." I love looking at the rain and how it just makes everything look clean, bright, and new! The ugly sidewalks aren't so ugly anymore...the bushes and trees all glisten and suddenly appear so much greener. How comforting is it to know that God is completely willing to do this for us?! No matter how much i mess up (which i do, a lot, with no logical excuses why), God forgives me and completely washes my sins away. I'm made clean and new. This is a concept i grappled with for a while. For a long time i walked around carrying guilt, which is a terrible feeling. As I've grown up and learned more from listening to people and reading, I've been able to get a better understanding of what this means and what it looks like if i accept God's grace in my own life. I know now that God loves me regardless, and i love him. Because i love him, i want to please him. For the times i don't, i know God is my most reliable, merciful, friend, who will wash my sins away when i ask.